Not successful as of yet

Although not for lack of trying... I've done stairs, I've walked, I'm bounced, I've lunged, I've prayed, I've talked to spirit guides, I've whined, I've moaned, I've had so much water I'm ready to drown and I'm flat out exhausted. And I've got nothing. Absolutely nothing. A couple of piddling little contractions, some hard core sore hips, a backache and I'm pretty irritated. But I'm not in labor.