Friday, April 23, 2010

Emotional rollercoaster

I go back and forth... last night, I went out by myself (is there anything more exciting then the car all to yourself with the radio up loud?) and got a big sundae at Friendly's (for the baby :-)). I decided that it was actually a good thing that she wasn't here yet, because really, I'm probably never going to be pregnant again, and there's something magical and wonderful about it. I should embrace this time, really adopt a theory of total self-indulgence. If I want a sundae, go ahead, get a sundae. If I want to blow off a family function - I've got the best excuse ever. I decided that I'd spend the remainder of the pregnancy doing exactly what I wanted, when I wanted. I was happy, came home, took a nice hot shower, put on lots of lotion and just enjoyed being all big and watching my belly move.

Then this morning, I woke up and started having contractions again - and got all excited, because maybe, just maybe, she's actually going to come today. The contractions have been hit or miss all day, some of them are strong, some of them are nothing. They aren't progressing into anything, they aren't consistent - and I'm ready to cry, I'm so disappointed.

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