Monday, June 25, 2012

Near drowning

I hesitate to blog about this, simply because my  mind is really avoiding going there, but the facts are that yesterday, we came within in minutes of Sam drowning.  We were at a lake in one of the surrounding towns (don't know which one, because I wasn't driving).  There was no lifeguard, but it was a quiet little pond.  There were two beaches, separated by a bridge.  I'm crap at estimating, but I'd guess fifty feet wide.  Maybe a hundred?  It wasn't big.  And we were there with a bunch of other families, and there were lots of little kids running around.

Sam and his buddy Harrison had gone across the bridge (with permission) and were playing on the opposite side from where we were sitting.  I was watching them, and they were wading in the water, throwing mud at each other.  It was idyllic, all these kids running and playing.  I looked away for just a minute.  I was checking the girls or talking to someone, I don't even remember, I just know that I had been watching and then I wasn't.  In that period of time, Sam went too far in and lost his footing and started to flounder in the water.

Someone pulled him out, and I didn't see him struggling in the water, I just saw her pull him out.  So I didn't have that moment of realizing that he might die, I had the moment of realizing that he almost had.  And I'll never be able to not know that now.  I've never come that close before and as I type, I'm crying all over again.  Because it happened so fast, and so without warning.  And in that moment, I could have lost him.  I could have lost him, and I can't even wrap my mind around that.

I just know that I'll never, never, never go swimming anywhere without a zillion lifeguards again.  I'll never, never, never let myself relax when my kids are near water.  I'm going to do my best to not terrify them, Sam was okay, and eventually even asked if he could go back down and play in the water.  I don't want to scar him and make him afraid - but I'll never be not terrified of taking kids to the water again.

I'm posting this week on the hangout grid at www.yeahwrite.me - it's a great place to discover new blogs.

11 comments:

Jen Niles said...

I am numb just reading that. It is so horrible, because you are so right...it will never leave you. I'm glad it ended OK. Sorry you guys went through it.

Mamarific said...

Oh, that is so scary! So glad he is OK!!

Gia said...

UGH. SO SO SO scary, but I'm glad he's okay.

Kerstin said...

Terrible!
When my son was three we were at a public pool and while he was in my sight, just a few feet away, he slipped and fell on his head so bad, that he had internal bleeding in his brain. He wasn't even running, and I was right there, watching him.
I am still constantly worried about him, and have to keep reminding myself that in the end everything turned out alright.
I guess the point is that you can never control everything all the time - and that is a hard lesson to learn. It's been 7 years since that happened and I'm still having trouble with it...
Wishing you that you will find the calm and strength to relax again!

jamie said...

I can feel what you are going through. The thoughts of near-loss. I'm glad he's fine and he's not frightened by that episode. Nonetheless, be careful.

Dawn Beronilla said...

That is absolutely terrifying, and I am so happy that he is okay!
I'm glad you shared this, because it's important to NEVER get too relaxed when it comes to kids. The summer brings about a whole new world of hazards from water to fire pits and we need to stay watchful.
*hugs* to you.

Kristin @ What She Said said...

It's always the moment right after a near-miss, when all the what-ifs creep in, that's the most frightening. It's not nearly the same thing, but our 2YO stumbled disoriented into our room in the middle of the night recently, tripped over one of my decorative bed pillows that was propped against the hope chest at the end of our bed, and nearly fell face-first onto the corner of the chest. It would've surely resulted in a broken nose, broken teeth, gouged eye, or combo of all three. And the second after it happened, even in my sleepy state, I remember just feeling pure terror. So, I can only imagine how a near-drowning would feel. So glad he was OK!

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms said...

I was a lifeguard for 7 years, so i actually gulped when I read this. I cannot be less than vigilant near water when kids are in it. I count heads instinctively.

For the past two years, my friend has hosted a summer start pool party. For the past two years, I have plucked kids from the bottom of the pool. I was watching. It happens that fast. And it doesn't look like what you think it's going to look like.

So sorry you had to go through that though. The parental what-ifs are the worst. Have a great rest of the summer, Erin

Jenny Leigh said...

I teared up just reading this. I'm scared of water anyway, and I stay on edge whenever my kids are around it. I've never had an experience like this with the water, but I have had that feeling. It's the worst feeling you can ever have and you never forget about it. I'm so glad that there was a happy ending to this story. Hopefully you'll never have to experience that fear again.

Robbie K said...

this is so horribly frightening. My cousin-who was an excellent swimmer- drowned a week before his 18th birthday..which was the day I gave birth to my first child. I am incredibly nervous around water..especially lakes, oceans and rivers. Something like that changes you.

Dolls said...

I thought you might blog about this. I thought you were amazingly calm and collected about this. It made me see how down to earth, real, and non-judgemental you are. You are an amazing mom who has the ability to share what you learn and feel so well. Please don't stop going swimming with the family... It is a wonder how kids grow and stay safe in this crazy world so full of possible dangers...but really most of us come out just fine....