Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Jessica Mary




She turned seven back in February and she's still a little girl, but you can see glimmers of the woman she'll be one day, and she's going to be amazing :-). She's gorgeous, with soft, silky baby fine brown curls and big brown eyes, and the most perfect little nose and mouth. She's got four freckles that form a line from her ear down to her mouth.

Her favorite color is purple, her favorite food is ice cream. Any kind of ice cream, really. She'll eat salad by the bowlful, likes all kinds of veggies. Still won't eat sandwich bread, or grilled cheese or mac and cheese. Has reluctantly started eating pizza but only thin crust. She's a little cuddle bug, still, her preferred place to sit is right beside me. She's still a lover of baby dolls, arts and crafts, and stuffed animals. She's started taking showers just recently, graduating from the bath. She loves being read to, and even though she can read on her own, will always choose Mommy or Daddy reading to her instead.

Jess is my drama queen, all the time. Even though she's happy and doing well at school, she still needs to have the reward system in place to get her out the door without tears, and frequently, she'll stage a temper tantrum when she gets home, just to decompress from holding it all in all day :-). She'll exaggerate and pretend to make a story better, seems to have an innate sense of what makes for a good story and isn't afraid to rearrange facts to make it more exciting or dramatic. She's my little chatterbox, and frequently when someone says "guess what Jessie told me," I hold my breath, just a little, because you never know what she might have said.

She'll fight with her brother, just for the fun of hearing him yell, but can be so caring and protective of him. She adores her baby sister, and believes with her whole heart that if she's home, there's no good reason why Julie shouldn't be in her arms. She's a huge, huge help to me, literally. She's an extra pair of arms to hold Julie, she'll get drinks and even on one memorable occasion, got dinner for everyone one night (granted it was cold cut sandwiches and microwave hot dogs but still a huge help). She's the classic oldest child, and I see so much of myself in her that sometimes it's scary. I know that Julie is going to adore her, she's literally going to be Julie's second mother and I'm just a little scared of giving her too much responsibility. But mostly, I'm just happy for both of my girls, that they have each other. And Sam is so close to her, she's his first example of how to be a big kid. And there's nothing he likes more than writing in her diary and taking her stuff - because if it belongs to Jessie or if Jessie does it, it must be super cool.

She's one of my favorite people in the whole world. Our relationship is so complicated and layered - she's struggling to figure out who she is, separate from me, and sometimes she gets so angry at me, it's alarming. I worry sometimes, because she seems to make her life so much harder than it has to be, I want for her to be able to relax a little, to not put so much pressure on herself about every little thing. But her intensity and passion is what makes her who she is, and as much as I wish that sometimes she'd be little easier with herself, I wouldn't change a single tiny iota of who she is. She's my angel girl, my first baby, and my little love bug. Jessica turned me into a mother, played a huge role in making me the woman I am today, and I thank God every single day for bringing her into my life.

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