Forgive me, I know. I know that I'm blessed and so incredibly fortunate to be pregnant - and I truly can't wait to hold this baby in my arms, entirely for her own sake, and not just because when I can hold her, I won't be pregnant any more. I even like a lot of being pregnant - I like having a big ole belly, I like the extra attention, the smiles from strangers. I love feeling her move - and I flat out adore babies, so I'm very excited about having another one.
But OH MY GOSH - this itching is making me crazy. I thought it was just dry skin at first, but I'm lotioning (is that a verb?) like mad and it makes no difference. I'm taking benedryl - which just makes me delightfully sleepy, and doesn't help with the itch at all. I'm sitting here at the computer, shifting and moving and trying desperately not to scratch, because once I start, I can't stop - and then scratch like a lunatic until I cry. It's ugly.
I'm waiting to hear back on bloodwork to rule out some sort of liver disorder that results in too much bile and the main symptom is crazy itching. It's super rare, and my doctor told me that I probably don't have it, and even if I do, worst case scenario, they'll just induce me early because carrying the baby to term would be dangerous. He also recommended that I take benedryl at night especially to help me sleep, and try to avoid googling to get more information because I'll just scare the hell out myself. (I googled like mad all day yesterday and am sufficiently freaked out.)
In other news... all is well here. Sam is still not nursing and I'm getting used to it. He asks once in a while, but mostly when he's half asleep or just waking up. He's definitely a boob man though - he likes to lay on them for pillows, and kiss my shirt goodnight. To him, a breast is no more private or special than my arm (which he also likes to kiss). Jessie and I are going to finish up Harry Potter tonight - and I'm so excited about it. I was afraid she'd lose interest, but she asked for it every night, and talks about it all the time. This has really inspired her to really like reading - she liked it before, but this is the first "grown up" book she's read, or rather, that we've read to her. I like to think it's the first of many... if I can get my kids to love reading, I know that I'll feel like I've done my job :-)