Friday, May 29, 2009

Sick, sick, and more sick - take two

I've got a sinus infection and an ear infection. And I've got my period. Which is notable only because I was five days late. And I, of course, assumed I was pregnant. I'm aware of the fact that I think I'm pregnant every month, but this time, I was really convinced of it. Marc brought home a pregnancy test last night, and I woke up at four o'clock this morning... and it was negative. And even though I had been panicking - even though I really, really, really want for my cousin Becky to get pregnant first and was horrified at the thought of telling her that I was having a baby right after her miscarriage, even though I was freaking about Sam still nursing and how would I deal with that - even though, even though, even though - I was still disappointed to have the test be negative.

My face and head hurt so much right now, I'd cry, but that would only make it hurt more. I'm missing the Relay for Life in Maynard and feel guilty about that as well (adding guilt to in pain, hormonal, and crampy, in case any one was keeping track of crappy moods I'm dealing with here), but really couldn't face the thought of sleeping out in the rain with a screaming Sam. My mother in law took Jess out to the movies and for dinner, and Sam's happily watching Backyardigans.

I wish today was over and it was tomorrow, and the antibiotics had kicked in and I felt like me again.

2 comments:

Jessi said...

oh my goodness! OUCH! I'm hurting just reading this. I hope you're feeling much better by now!!

I'm sorry AF came. We decided to try 2 months ago on a whim and I was very nervous because I would be due literally Christmas week and 6 days before my sons 2nd birthday. Low and behold I got a very faint positive 12 dpo and 2 days later had a miscarriage. I was shocked at how disappointed I was because I was so scared of being due then.

We are now on our 3rd month of trying so I know how it is to want to be pregnant. I plan to let Aiden wean too (he's 17 months). You know a lot of toddlers actually wean themselves once mom gets pregnant because the milk turns back to colustrum around the 5th-6th month.

I know it's hard when you're ready to be done though but Aiden is definitely a boobie boy and I can't imagine trying to wean him so I feel for you!

Get well soon!

Melissa said...

I keep telling myself that he'd probably wean on his own while I was pregnant, I just fear that he wouldn't. He LOVES nursing, and I don't think he'll outgrow that anytime soon. He can and will go all day without it, but only if he doesn't nap. I remember when he was about a year and a half, thinking that I couldn't imagine wanting him to stop, he could nurse as long as he wanted to - but now that he's almost three, I find myself being ready to move on. I just wish he was :-)