Marc's working today. On a Saturday. And I'm a little bitter, I miss him, my kids miss him, it feels as though we are being gipped (gypped??) in a major way. Especially (and I don't mean to get all religious on you) because it's Shabbos and that's gradually become the highlight of my week. Friday, I make four loaves of challah, a big dinner, and we have this elaborate meal, sometimes with guests, sometimes not, then Marc and I put the kids to bed together and Saturday we just... are. We don't watch television, we don't type, we don't do anything other than just hang out and spend time together. But last night, by the time dinner was ready, I was tired and worn out, and ended up letting the kids eat on the floor having a picnic and then put them to bed by watching CNN. It was still a lovely night, but it's not Shabbos. And this morning, all is perfectly well - the kids are getting along well, and it's a nice rainy day - but it's not Shabbos.
Jess seems to be adjusting to kindergarten perfectly. She's got a little group of friends, a friendship club, she calls it, and is dashing off happily each morning. She's so grown up, all of a sudden. It's amazing to watch, and just a tiny bit scary, because I feel like so much of her life is "hers" now, instead of mine. Normal, natural, the absolutely right way it's supposed to be moving, but it happened so fast. I miss having her with me all the time, being intimately aware of her moods and thoughts and feelings. I'm so lucky that I can be home with her after school, and so glad that we had the past two years together full time.
And I've still got my Sammy - who's so amazingly funny all the time. He's a little chatter box, and so earnest. He's realized that he can make people laugh, especially Harrison, and has developed several little routines he'll do just to incite the laughter. He pretends to fall, which cracks Harrison up every time. He'll also eat stuff, like pretend to eat the couch or the matchbox car... I guess you have to be here, but it's really sweet and cute. And I love the hand gestures, when he's really mad, he uses his hands to communicate - it's wonderful to watch. I feel so blessed to have him. I know it sounds corny, but really - when I think about how many people struggle to get pregnant and how many people aren't able to have kids - and as goofy as this sounds, the people who are stuck with kids who aren't mine... I know every mom thinks this, but mine really are just the most amazing, funny, sweet, loving creatures.
I know they aren't perfect, Sam likes to throw things around and still thinks whacking people is fun, Jessie is still prone to heart stopping screaming at the top of her lungs, and has developed an increasingly sarcastic little attitude (comes by it naturally). They don't always share, sometimes they're really rude and careless - but I do think that they are both exceptional human beings. My job is just to make sure they stay that way :-). Teach them kindness and self discipline and respect. I love my kids. I really, really do.