Yet another reason I love my husband

He fixed my vacuum cleaner. I'm a stay at home mom, with two kids under six, plus I baby sit for two more toddlers. My vacuum cleaner is my FAVORITE. I use it three or four times a day, it's my go to appliance. I can think of no other piece of household stuff that I rely on as much, except my coffee pot. I would also self destruct without that.

Anyway, I sucked up a chapstick and jammed the whole thing. Had no clue why it suddenly wasn't working, and was so sad that I had broken it. Marc took it apart, returned the chapstick (in perfect condition, no less) and then pulled all the hair and junk out of the brush so that it works like new.

I love this man.

Sam's fashion sense

Earlier today, Sam picked out his outfit and announced he was ready to go outside. If you can picture an adorable little boy, with light brown hair, greyish green eyes and a huge smile, with a rainbow sun hat, topped with a princess tiara, white onesie that's so old it's all stretched out, blue and green swimming trunks, and rubber giraffe rain boots that are four sizes too big - that's my boy.

How did this happen?

I think when I first had children, I expected them to be just like me. And with Jessie, it worked. She and I are very similiar, we process information in much the same way, we find the same sort of things interesting, we both whine a lot, and are prone to temper tantrums :-). And like me, Jessica is happy as a clam sitting inside, reading a book, coloring, or playing with her dollhouse (not that I frequently color or play with dollhouses left to my own devices, but you get the point). Then I had Sam.

And yesterday afternoon, he put on his rainboots and announced he was going "side." He's just an outside kid, happiest when he's at the park or even just hanging out in the driveway with a ball. It was pouring outside, but I took him out there and let him stomp in puddles. This morning, we were out there throwing around the soccer ball and watching a worm's progress down the road. My favorite place to be on a gorgeous day is inside, curled up on a comfy chair next to an open window with a good book. And if the weather is crappy, I want to be inside. No questions. Sam's favorite place to be, all the time, rain or shine, is outside.

Content as could be

All is well in my world - major thunderstorm this morning, which is my FAVORITE. I love the pounding rain, the booming thunder and the flashes of lightning. We kept Jess home today, she's just been such a wreck this weekend, actually, more like just yesterday, I think she needs a day when she can hang out with just her brother and stay in her pajamas all day, she can color and play in her bedroom and just vege out. So far, she's calm and happy, she's aware that she can't play on the computer and knows why, she's not arguing or fussing about it.

Grounded

Grounded my little girl tonight for the first time in her little life. She's been having a crappy day, lots of physical aggression, and she narrowly avoided kicking me upside the head in car because she started flailing her legs and screaming about me not understanding her. So she's off the computer all day tomorrow - which is a BIG deal, because we just got a brand new, huge computer with speakers. Marc was shooting for three days with no computer, but that sounded harsh to me, too harsh for a five year old when you consider that she's had a really busy weekend after a killer week. Maybe I'm just making excuses - it's hard to know. But I know how much she's going to hate having no computer tomorrow.

Thank goodness

Everyone is gone. It's just me, Jessica and Samuel right now, and I'm calm and relaxed. There's been a lot of chaos and confusion lately around here, I had Glennys over night Friday night, and then yesterday we went up to my cousin's graduation party in Rindge. I ended up taking two of my nieces home with me (how is it that I always end up taking extra kids home with me from family functions?). We didn't get home until 10:00 and the kids were all still awake. My mother just came to pick up my nieces and I popped my two into the tub and am feeling much more in control.

Kids are good, Jess is still having major issues when she's overtired. She's prone to huge screaming fits, and I have yet to discover a cure all technique for dealing with them. I'm doing the mediation thing, taking her hands and having her take three deep breaths to calm down, but that's not 100% effective, and today, she screamed for 45 minutes because she accidentally cut her pancake up before remembering that she didn't want to have it cut. I think that was what the problem was, but it was tough to decipher the screaming.

The party yesterday went really well, Marc and the other guys staged a baseball game for the little kids and they all had so much fun. Jess couldn't actually hit the ball by herself so my brother would hold the bat with her and when they actually connected, she'd take off, running in a big circle around the field, not actually hitting any of the bases, but absolutely confident that she'd scored a home run. And the guys in the field would purposely miss, overthrowing and undercatching to ensure that she could make it the whole way. It was so sweet, and she was so proud of herself.

Can I brag?

My not even two year old WALKED all the way to Elm Park. Which is a ridiculously long walk for such a little boy - and he was so happy. Wearing a little blue one piece outfit, with his sister's sun hat perched on his little head. He's so big!

We're pumping up the paaaaaaaaaaaaaty now

I got up this morning and staggered into the kitchen to make the coffee. Once I pressed the little button, I then crawled into the living room to wait for the cable guy to come and fix my cable. That's when I heard the little voice in Jessie's bedroom. She had apparently gotten up earlier and started playing. She was in there, singing her little heart out, and I thought to myself that she's a really happy little kid. Her life is pretty good, and she likes herself. I'm very proud of that...

No extra kids today - YAY. I'm taking Sam out for a morning at the park and then we're coming home for blissful naps and cleaning.

Bright and beautiful Wednesday

And all is well in my world. Kids are all happy - Jessie is doing REALLY well with all this activity. For the next two weeks, she'll be at camp or preschool every single weekday. This is unprecidented in her little life, even when I was working, I still had one day off mid-week. But so far, she's thriving, gets up bright and early and heads off to school with no problems. I'm hoping that it's preview of kindergarten :-)

Sammy is all battered and bruised. We've been outside a lot lately, the weather has been great and his little legs are skinned and bruised all over the place. He likes to run and jump and inevitably falls over while he's doing it. He's talking more and more, coming out with sentences and new words all the time. For all I was so worried about his verbal skills, the pediatrician was right, by the time he's two, he'll be a conversational wizard.

Summer Camp

Jess went off to summer camp this morning. I was really happy to send her off, for a bunch of different reasons. One, I think that the summer will be better if she's got a bit of structure to it, it's only two mornings a week, but I think she'll have fun and still be able to have the freedom of just hanging out time as well. Two, I liked the thought of it being a new environment for her, with new teachers and new kids. It'll expand her world a little bit. Three - she gets swimming lessons, gymnastics and an arts/crafts thing. She cried when Marc dropped her off, though. I know that she's an easy crier, and she's always a little thrown off in new situations, but I'm hopeful that she'll thrive in the environment.

Sam is already asleep, we went to the park this morning and he fell asleep about a half hour ago. He's such a sweetie, and so mad that Jessie leaves him each morning. This morning, he refused to give Marc a kiss goodbye, I think, just because he was so angry that Marc hasn't been around and that when he leaves, he takes Sammy's favorite girl with him.

Preschool Graduation

I know it's corny. I know that on some level, it is, as my husband keeps insisting, completely meaningless and part of what's contributing to the downfall of Western Society (i.e. the celebration and reward of mediocraty) - but dammit, it was so wonderful. My beautiful girl, standing up there in her little pink "graduation hat", with her shy little smile and sweet dimple winking out at me... I started crying once all the kids assembed and started singing, cried right all the way thru the five songs (including one about how ready they are for kindergarten), thru the diplomas (when she was elected Most Confident), and then the slide show. I kept picturing her when she was born, and then all that led up to her at this point, about to embark on her academic career, and fast forwarding thru until her high school graduation. She was so wanted, so loved, and she's so exactly what I always wanted in a daughter. I wish all the time I could have sent a snapshot of her to myself in my twenties, when all I wanted was a baby girl of my very own, when I thought that I'd forever be the aunt, but not the Mommy. She's so perfect, in all of her imperfect glory - the drama, the temper tantrums, , the singing, the dancing, the cuddles and helpful girl that she's becoming, the tiny girl who snuggled into my arms from the moment she was born. It's amazing to me how much we've been thru together, how much we have yet to experience. She's my angel girl, and I'm so incredibly proud of her. And I'm crying all over again....

Lessons

Last night, Sam and I learned valuable lessons. I learned that when he's quiet and playing, that's when I have to double check him. And he learned that eating Mommy's coconut shampoo is not a good idea.

He got the bottle opened, squirted it into a couple of barbie cars, filled the sink in the play kitchen, spread a bunch on the floor and coated his fingers. It was only when he put his hands in his mouth that he started to cry and then I saw it. I call him my coconut baby, he smells delightful :-)

peaceful contentment

I sometimes wonder if I'm tempting fate... like everything is so peaceful and relaxed, I must be gearing up for some horrible tragedy. Or maybe it's just that my earlier years were so tumultuous, between the divorce and all the unpleasant aftermath, then Scott and the drama and crisises that seemed to accompany his life, maybe on some universal scale, I've earned the calm satisfaction of my life now.

I really value my life - the calmness, the peace. The utter contentment. Sam's asleep on my bed, with the air conditioners humming along nicely. Marc and Jessica are out grocery shopping for the week, and I'm puttering in Jessie's room, restoring it to cleanliness after the girls rearranged everything yesterday (why, why do they do that??). Beck's coming out to watch the cherubs while Marc and I go to the dance recital this afternoon, then we're having pizza for dinner. It's just so.... peaceful.

I have no real problems. Not enough money, of course, but even that's getting easier, we struggle now with paying for non-essentials - we can afford a roof over our heads, food for the table. There was a time, in the not so distant past, when that was really a struggle. My marriage is, as it's always been, incredibly good. I love Marc, he's my best friend, and I know that he loves and trusts me above all else. My kids are wonderful, healthy, smart, happy. I have a life that I love, where I feel satisfied and useful and happy. Sure, there are little dramas all the time, Jessie's temper tantrums, Sam's incessant nursing (will it ever end??), Marc dancing off to the gym or to play with the guys, the car needs work and we can't afford to get it done, etc. But overall, things are great now. Really, really great.

I'm having a wonderful weekend.

Sometimes happiness is 20 rolls of toilet paper

I let my son play with twenty thousand squares of toilet paper this morning. I just started a new book and really wanted to read, and it made him so happy. He pried all twenty individually wrapped rolls out of the package and systematically stacked them into a circle around him. Then he began to build. And unwrap them. It kept him enthralled for at least a half hour, and when you're a stay at home mom, a half hour of peace is worth more than almost anything else.

Lousy day today - it's cloudy and chilly and I'm trapped inside with three children. Nothing really planned for the day - possibly I'll make brownies later. Lilli has a school play tonight, so I'll drag the kids to that. As much as I love Lilli, the thought of watching a play entirely in Hebrew is not exciting to me, so I'm wishing that I could get out of it. But I can't. I know that...

Went to Jessie's kindergarten open house yesterday, and loved it. After all the stress and trauma associated with the NJA closing and scrambling to find a school for her - I really think we hit the jackpot with the May Street School. It's a small school, great teachers, pretty playground - I'm very happy about it.

Random thoughts...

We went to the Relay for Life on Friday night. And it was one of those nights when I felt as though I was doing it right, the whole parenting thing. You know, most of the time, I'm not sure how it's turning out. I do my best, try to be consistent and fair and loving and give them a sense of wonder and joy and delight, but also a sense of discipline and self control. Friday night, my girl was an angel, well behaved, funny, sweet - just a joy to be around. She dressed up in ballerina costumes all night and bounced all over the place, thrilled to betsy to be there. It was a proud night, as a mom. Saturday was very quiet, Josh and Janet came over with their three boys - Baby Michael is such a little love - so peaceful and quiet. It makes me crave another baby - but I'm working hard on convincing myself to take the time and just enjoy Sam's toddlerhood first. There's time for another baby, right? Then I start to overthink it and quickly decide that you never know, maybe I should rush into it, rip out the IUD and start trying for number 3. I just read a scary book about a woman who just got thru breast cancer and can't have any more, she always wanted four kids. Now she's got two, and even though she's so grateful to have beaten cancer, it's going to bug her for the rest of her life that she hadn't had those other two children... made me think a little more....