That'd be me. I'm trying - if wishful thinking counted for anything, this baby would have been born a week ago. I went in yesterday for my weekly appointment, and I'm a good two centimeters (whereas last week, I was sort of, maybe, a wishy-washy two) and her head is definitely down and engaged. Cindy said it was a big change from last week, so these constant contractions are definitely doing something. She did a, shall we say, vigorous internal exam, and apologized for hurting me, but said that it would help get the baby out. I suggested since she was in there and could feel the head anyway, why not grab it and give a yank. And I think she did. I asked about when to go in, and she said that I should call whenever I think I'm actually going into labor, that with the third baby, there's no telling how fast it'll go, and where I've got a previous c-section, they pay a little extra attention to me, just in case. Even though Sam's VBAC went smoothly, it's still a concern to have had one in the past.
I'm putting, trying to keep my house constantly in order and organized, so that someone could come in at a moments notice and take over when I go into the hospital. The kids will be staying here, and my friend Annie is going to come and watch them while I'm in actual labor at the hospital.
Am planning on walking a lot today - just to see what I can get going. I know she's not due until the end of the month, but it just feels like it's time. The idea of going all the way thru April and into May is absurd to me. So we'll see... I'll be 37 weeks tomorrow, and am so ready to hold my baby girl.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
A book, a buck, and a note
That's how we handle the tooth fairy in our house. Her name is Marigold, and her brother's name is Eagle Feather (strangely enough). And our tooth fairy is very, very smart, and she knows that our kids are also very, very smart, so she doesn't give out a lot of money, she gives out books and a note telling them how proud she is, making special mention of their recent good behavior, and a dollar just because. She also, in case you were wondering, celebrates both Passover and Easter.
Jess did lose her tooth yesterday at school and was thrilled to death when she came home. Marc ran to Barnes and Nobles on the way home and picked up a book I would never have chosen, it's a Richard Scary Word Book, but he was so happy about it, I just went with it. And our night was filled with anticipation, as we wrote the note to Marigold, Jessie was very concerned about whether or not she should ask Marigold if she had a good Easter or a good Passover. So that's how we decided that she celebrates EVERYTHING because really, a tooth fairy should celebrate everything, I think.
In other news - no baby yet. I did walk for a while yesterday with the kids and had a bunch of good contractions, but they petered out and then I was just left in agony - my hips were KILLING me. My next appt is tomorrow, so I'm hoping that I've dilated a little more and with any luck, my water will just break any minute now and we'll have a baby :-) I'm so ready for her, got the swing, got the car seat, got the going home outfit, got the bouncy seat. I just need the girl child.
Samilicious woke up ridiculously early this morning, so wish me luck later. A Sam with no sleep is no fun :-(
Jess did lose her tooth yesterday at school and was thrilled to death when she came home. Marc ran to Barnes and Nobles on the way home and picked up a book I would never have chosen, it's a Richard Scary Word Book, but he was so happy about it, I just went with it. And our night was filled with anticipation, as we wrote the note to Marigold, Jessie was very concerned about whether or not she should ask Marigold if she had a good Easter or a good Passover. So that's how we decided that she celebrates EVERYTHING because really, a tooth fairy should celebrate everything, I think.
In other news - no baby yet. I did walk for a while yesterday with the kids and had a bunch of good contractions, but they petered out and then I was just left in agony - my hips were KILLING me. My next appt is tomorrow, so I'm hoping that I've dilated a little more and with any luck, my water will just break any minute now and we'll have a baby :-) I'm so ready for her, got the swing, got the car seat, got the going home outfit, got the bouncy seat. I just need the girl child.
Samilicious woke up ridiculously early this morning, so wish me luck later. A Sam with no sleep is no fun :-(
Monday, April 5, 2010
The agony of a loose tooth
My heart breaks for her. I know in the overall scheme of things, this is not a tragedy. It's not. It's a perfectly natural, normal thing that every child must go thru. But it makes Jessie nuts, and she trudged out the door this morning, weeping and miserable because her tooth is really, really loose. And she won't let us pull it out.
She's never had an easy time losing her teeth. Her first two teeth, the ones on the bottom, she lost when she had her broken wrist. With only one functional arm, she had been using her mouth to grab things and when she was getting undressed one night, her shirt got stuck on the cast. Without thinking, she bit the shirt and yanked to get it past the cast and pulled both her bottom teeth out. She was completely traumatized, came screaming out of her bedroom, stark naked with a shirt hanging off her arm. The top two teeth weren't much better... she came home from kidnergarten sobbing because one was so loose it felt really weird and the other was close to it. Marc does the driving to and from school and had to get back to work. And he got a facecloth to examine it, and ended up just yanking both of the loose teeth out. No warning, just BOOM - teeth gone, problem solved. Which was so NOT what she wanted, and she was totally freaked out. End result is that she won't let him anywhere near her teeth (and who could blame her?), and the prospect of someone pulling a dangling tooth out of her mouth is cause for absolute hysteria.
The poor kid - I feel so bad for her. She wasn't awful this morning, but her tooth was bothering her and she was crying and miserable. And I sent her off to school anyway.
Sam's still asleep, thank goodness, because the more sleep he gets, the better everything is.
No news on the baby front - as much as I want to have her right now, right this very minute, there's a part of me that resigned to the thought that she's not coming any time soon. It's beginning to feel as though I'll be pregnant for the rest of my life. I'm going to walk today, and walk and walk and walk, and see what happens. Probably nothing, but at least the kids will have fun at the park :-)
She's never had an easy time losing her teeth. Her first two teeth, the ones on the bottom, she lost when she had her broken wrist. With only one functional arm, she had been using her mouth to grab things and when she was getting undressed one night, her shirt got stuck on the cast. Without thinking, she bit the shirt and yanked to get it past the cast and pulled both her bottom teeth out. She was completely traumatized, came screaming out of her bedroom, stark naked with a shirt hanging off her arm. The top two teeth weren't much better... she came home from kidnergarten sobbing because one was so loose it felt really weird and the other was close to it. Marc does the driving to and from school and had to get back to work. And he got a facecloth to examine it, and ended up just yanking both of the loose teeth out. No warning, just BOOM - teeth gone, problem solved. Which was so NOT what she wanted, and she was totally freaked out. End result is that she won't let him anywhere near her teeth (and who could blame her?), and the prospect of someone pulling a dangling tooth out of her mouth is cause for absolute hysteria.
The poor kid - I feel so bad for her. She wasn't awful this morning, but her tooth was bothering her and she was crying and miserable. And I sent her off to school anyway.
Sam's still asleep, thank goodness, because the more sleep he gets, the better everything is.
No news on the baby front - as much as I want to have her right now, right this very minute, there's a part of me that resigned to the thought that she's not coming any time soon. It's beginning to feel as though I'll be pregnant for the rest of my life. I'm going to walk today, and walk and walk and walk, and see what happens. Probably nothing, but at least the kids will have fun at the park :-)
Sunday, April 4, 2010
TMI and wicked cute kids
I think I'm losing my mucous plug. Which is probably more info than you want - but hey, it's my blog, right? :-) I'm incredibly delighted and the fact that it could still be weeks doesn't diminish my excitement at all. According to my friends at google, active labor could start anywhere from hours to weeks. I'm pinning all my hopes on "hours" and can't stop smiling.
Smiling to myself - because my sister Aimee took my two cherubs down to my mother's house without me, and Marc's at a meeting at the synagogue (strangely enough, Jewish people don't consider Easter to be a reason to cancel a meeting). Sam's a major Mommy's boy - and the prospect of him getting into a stranger's car (Aimee lives in Maine and we only see her two or three times a year) without me and heading off my mother's (who's he's notoriously not close to) is a staggeringly huge step. But he wanted to do it, at the last minute, he asked Jess to go too, and they drove off, with the two of them in their car seats in the back, holding hands. It was adorable.
Easter morning went GREAT - other than Jess waking up at the crack of dawn when I so wanted to sleep in. She waited to hunt for eggs until Sam got up, and then he asked her to find them herself because he wanted to sit "and rewax" (he is SO my son). We had fried matzo for breakfast (the glories of Easter and Passover falling together) and it was just a lovely morning.
Smiling to myself - because my sister Aimee took my two cherubs down to my mother's house without me, and Marc's at a meeting at the synagogue (strangely enough, Jewish people don't consider Easter to be a reason to cancel a meeting). Sam's a major Mommy's boy - and the prospect of him getting into a stranger's car (Aimee lives in Maine and we only see her two or three times a year) without me and heading off my mother's (who's he's notoriously not close to) is a staggeringly huge step. But he wanted to do it, at the last minute, he asked Jess to go too, and they drove off, with the two of them in their car seats in the back, holding hands. It was adorable.
Easter morning went GREAT - other than Jess waking up at the crack of dawn when I so wanted to sleep in. She waited to hunt for eggs until Sam got up, and then he asked her to find them herself because he wanted to sit "and rewax" (he is SO my son). We had fried matzo for breakfast (the glories of Easter and Passover falling together) and it was just a lovely morning.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Because you just have to notice sometimes...
Family drama all over the place - and it's a struggle to remember that this is my favorite time of the year. But it is, so I'm doing my best to just focus on my favorites. So here, in no particular order are things that make me particularly happy at this point in my life...
1 - My sister. Because you could not find anyone less like me, we have next to nothing in common, but she loves me and supports me and defends me and makes me feel connected to our history like nobody else. She's strong and relentlessly on my side. I don't know that I could have gotten thru the past couple of days without her.
2 - My mother. Because she's a part of me in ways that I don't even understand. Because I see her in myself a thousand times a day, in my daughter even more. Because she's my early morning call, my touchstone for most everything and I can't always figure out where she ends and I begin. I pray that when my daughters are my age, they have the kind of relationship with me that I have with her.
3 - My kids - both Jess and Sam have been so supportive. So aware of my emotions and so sensitive to any little upset. When I start sobbing (which I do with an alarming regularity these days), they immediately drop everything, and stand beside me, wordlessly rubbing my arm or back or whatever they can touch. They never ask for details, but let me know without saying a word how much they love me. They bring me Tums on demand, help push me up off the couch and even provide foot rubs.
4 - My husband - thank God for him, I can't imagine my life without him and rely so much on his strength and stability.
5 - My friends - who drop everything to come help me, to rearrange my living room or watch my kids.
6 - My little Julianna - who's such a good girl already, head down, contractions starting - she knows how badly I want to hold her, and how much we've all been waiting to see her. She's moving all the time, hasn't made me throw up in weeks and I think is just as eager to get this party started as I am.
7 - My neighborhood, filled with beautiful, big, blossoming trees and overrun with squirrels - I went for a very slow two hour walk yesterday with Jessie and Sam and fed the fish and the ducks and got ice cream and played baseball and frisbee (okay, I watched while they played baseball and frisbee) and we had the best afternoon we've had in a long time.
8 - My Jessie Bug - who's so big and so grown up and so sweet. She's such a beautiful combination of the best of both of us, and I'm forever grateful to have her in my life.
9 - My Samilicious - who's grown up so fast in the past several months - and I can't even bring myself to miss my baby boy in diapers and nursing because the little guy running around in Batman underwear is so endlessly cheerful and funny and sweet. I can't imagine my life without him.
Because it is spring, and the sky is blue, the birds sing at three o'clock in the morning (and I never knew that before). Because even when life seems complicated and difficult and like you're being attacked all the time, it's really never as hard as it looks. The blessings are all around you, you just have to remember to see them.
1 - My sister. Because you could not find anyone less like me, we have next to nothing in common, but she loves me and supports me and defends me and makes me feel connected to our history like nobody else. She's strong and relentlessly on my side. I don't know that I could have gotten thru the past couple of days without her.
2 - My mother. Because she's a part of me in ways that I don't even understand. Because I see her in myself a thousand times a day, in my daughter even more. Because she's my early morning call, my touchstone for most everything and I can't always figure out where she ends and I begin. I pray that when my daughters are my age, they have the kind of relationship with me that I have with her.
3 - My kids - both Jess and Sam have been so supportive. So aware of my emotions and so sensitive to any little upset. When I start sobbing (which I do with an alarming regularity these days), they immediately drop everything, and stand beside me, wordlessly rubbing my arm or back or whatever they can touch. They never ask for details, but let me know without saying a word how much they love me. They bring me Tums on demand, help push me up off the couch and even provide foot rubs.
4 - My husband - thank God for him, I can't imagine my life without him and rely so much on his strength and stability.
5 - My friends - who drop everything to come help me, to rearrange my living room or watch my kids.
6 - My little Julianna - who's such a good girl already, head down, contractions starting - she knows how badly I want to hold her, and how much we've all been waiting to see her. She's moving all the time, hasn't made me throw up in weeks and I think is just as eager to get this party started as I am.
7 - My neighborhood, filled with beautiful, big, blossoming trees and overrun with squirrels - I went for a very slow two hour walk yesterday with Jessie and Sam and fed the fish and the ducks and got ice cream and played baseball and frisbee (okay, I watched while they played baseball and frisbee) and we had the best afternoon we've had in a long time.
8 - My Jessie Bug - who's so big and so grown up and so sweet. She's such a beautiful combination of the best of both of us, and I'm forever grateful to have her in my life.
9 - My Samilicious - who's grown up so fast in the past several months - and I can't even bring myself to miss my baby boy in diapers and nursing because the little guy running around in Batman underwear is so endlessly cheerful and funny and sweet. I can't imagine my life without him.
Because it is spring, and the sky is blue, the birds sing at three o'clock in the morning (and I never knew that before). Because even when life seems complicated and difficult and like you're being attacked all the time, it's really never as hard as it looks. The blessings are all around you, you just have to remember to see them.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Is there nothing benedryl can't fix?
Went into the hospital last night with contractions. I had been having them pretty consistently for four or five hours, every four to eight minutes and they hurt. I had cleaned like a madwoman yesterday, Sara came over and we rearranged the living room and brought down the swing from the attic, set up the baby chairs, purged the toys, etc. I probably just overdid it, plus I had some other stress going on as well... but after sitting at the hospital, hooked up to a monitor for three hours, it turns out that while I'm contracting - they aren't consistent and aren't really, really doing much of anything. Her head is lower, but apparently bouncing in my pelvis (isn't that a lovely image?). The midwife said I have a really deep pelvis, and her head is right there, but not engaged. So the midwife sent me home, with instructions to drink a lot of fluid, relax as much as possible, and take benedryl and tylenol. Tylenol to help with the cramping and benedryl to essentially sedate the uterus.
In other news - the Wii is becoming the bane of my existence. I'm sure the novelty will wear off soon, I'm hoping it will, but it's the cause of much stress and heartache around here. Much joy as well - as Sam and Jess and Marc are delighted with it, but Sam sobbed yesterday as we were leaving for the hospital, begging Marc to stay with him and play, and Jess and Sam seem to fight over who's going first all the live long day. I'm limiting it, they played for about a half hour this morning and are now happily playing Barbies and superheros in the living room.
Am feeling a renewed sense of gratitude for being pregnant. Last night, I couldn't decide if I wanted to be in labor or if I wanted to go home. Because it's still early, and it would be better for the baby to wait, I went with not wanting to be in active labor, but it was a tough call, because the thought of having her in my arms and not being pregnant any more sounded really, really good. But now I feel so much closer to the end, like at any minute, my water could break and she could come rocketing out, so I'm trying to just enjoy this sensation of having her inside my body, kicking and safe. If nothing else, it helps on days like today, when my poor little Samilicious is an emotional wreck and in need of a lot of extra attention.
In other news - the Wii is becoming the bane of my existence. I'm sure the novelty will wear off soon, I'm hoping it will, but it's the cause of much stress and heartache around here. Much joy as well - as Sam and Jess and Marc are delighted with it, but Sam sobbed yesterday as we were leaving for the hospital, begging Marc to stay with him and play, and Jess and Sam seem to fight over who's going first all the live long day. I'm limiting it, they played for about a half hour this morning and are now happily playing Barbies and superheros in the living room.
Am feeling a renewed sense of gratitude for being pregnant. Last night, I couldn't decide if I wanted to be in labor or if I wanted to go home. Because it's still early, and it would be better for the baby to wait, I went with not wanting to be in active labor, but it was a tough call, because the thought of having her in my arms and not being pregnant any more sounded really, really good. But now I feel so much closer to the end, like at any minute, my water could break and she could come rocketing out, so I'm trying to just enjoy this sensation of having her inside my body, kicking and safe. If nothing else, it helps on days like today, when my poor little Samilicious is an emotional wreck and in need of a lot of extra attention.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Two centimeters dilated, Jessie's hair cut and naked boxing
Much, much going on these days... Tuesday, we had Marc's family Seder over here. We only had 12 people, but it was still chaotic and messy and I'm not yet finished cleaning up afterwards. Marc did all the cooking and cleaned as best as he could while he did it, but there was still a ton of dishes and just miscellaneous crap to clean up afterwards. A messy house makes me insane, I am so much more irritable and stressed out when everything is messy - so last night, I stayed up extra late, finished up almost all the dishes (my kitchen is really little, so there wasn't room to wash all of them), swept the floor and tried to find the dining room table. My plan for today is mostly just to stay home and try and restore order to the house. I'm not looking forward to it.
Went to see Cindy, my midwife, yesterday. I'm two centimeters dilated, but the head is still WAY up there, so I could be this way for a while, I guess. The baby looks great - she's still measuring exactly where she should be, isn't as active as she was, but still moving around enough for me to know she's there. I'm having a LOT of contractions, and some of them are pretty uncomfortable. I just want to hold her. I want my baby.
I'm trying to slow down and enjoy this last little bit of being pregnant. This is probably the last time I'll ever experience this, we're not planning on having more. And it's lovely, really, I'm all stuffed with magic, holding a little life inside me. We're closer now than we'll ever be again. She's safe and protected and I can meet her every need just by existing. It'll never be this easy again. I'm trying to remember to enjoy every last second of having Jess be my only girl, of having Sam being my baby. I'm better at that - at really relishing every last moment of before the baby comes, because it'll never be this simple again. It'll be better, I know that, I can't wait to have my baby girl, but this time is special too. Reading to Jess at night is going to get more complicated, snuggling Sam to sleep by himself is going to be a little tougher to figure out when I've got an infant demanding my time and and attention. So I'm just... trying to enjoy the time I have left, instead of driving myself crazy waiting for labor to come.
My beautiful girl decided that her hair was simply too much for her and scalped herself last night. It was in her eyes, and so she snagged the scissors from her art kit and chopped it off. There's a quarter inch at the very front of her hair that's now shorter than Marc's. It doesn't look too bad, but she always looks beautiful to me, so I'm probably biased. I'm going to take her this weekend to get it actually cut and styled. I always thought little girls should have long hair, and have kept hers basically at shoulder length (it doesn't want to grow longer), but she'd like it shorter, and it's her hair. Plus, as she's shown, if I don't get it cut, she'll just cut it herself, so I'm resigning myself to a bob...
My mother got Sam and Jess a Wii. And I already hate it. Sam is madly in love with it, but nowhere near old enough to play it alone and I HATE video games. He played last night, boxing. And had started to get undressed for bed before Marc told him he could play, so I came out of putting (attempting, anyway) Jess to bed to find him stark naked, boxing with air. He was adorable. But he woke up this morning, sobbing because he wanted to play, and has already been on it for a half hour. I finally got him off, and am seriously considering making it a "play only with Daddy" thing.
Went to see Cindy, my midwife, yesterday. I'm two centimeters dilated, but the head is still WAY up there, so I could be this way for a while, I guess. The baby looks great - she's still measuring exactly where she should be, isn't as active as she was, but still moving around enough for me to know she's there. I'm having a LOT of contractions, and some of them are pretty uncomfortable. I just want to hold her. I want my baby.
I'm trying to slow down and enjoy this last little bit of being pregnant. This is probably the last time I'll ever experience this, we're not planning on having more. And it's lovely, really, I'm all stuffed with magic, holding a little life inside me. We're closer now than we'll ever be again. She's safe and protected and I can meet her every need just by existing. It'll never be this easy again. I'm trying to remember to enjoy every last second of having Jess be my only girl, of having Sam being my baby. I'm better at that - at really relishing every last moment of before the baby comes, because it'll never be this simple again. It'll be better, I know that, I can't wait to have my baby girl, but this time is special too. Reading to Jess at night is going to get more complicated, snuggling Sam to sleep by himself is going to be a little tougher to figure out when I've got an infant demanding my time and and attention. So I'm just... trying to enjoy the time I have left, instead of driving myself crazy waiting for labor to come.
My beautiful girl decided that her hair was simply too much for her and scalped herself last night. It was in her eyes, and so she snagged the scissors from her art kit and chopped it off. There's a quarter inch at the very front of her hair that's now shorter than Marc's. It doesn't look too bad, but she always looks beautiful to me, so I'm probably biased. I'm going to take her this weekend to get it actually cut and styled. I always thought little girls should have long hair, and have kept hers basically at shoulder length (it doesn't want to grow longer), but she'd like it shorter, and it's her hair. Plus, as she's shown, if I don't get it cut, she'll just cut it herself, so I'm resigning myself to a bob...
My mother got Sam and Jess a Wii. And I already hate it. Sam is madly in love with it, but nowhere near old enough to play it alone and I HATE video games. He played last night, boxing. And had started to get undressed for bed before Marc told him he could play, so I came out of putting (attempting, anyway) Jess to bed to find him stark naked, boxing with air. He was adorable. But he woke up this morning, sobbing because he wanted to play, and has already been on it for a half hour. I finally got him off, and am seriously considering making it a "play only with Daddy" thing.
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