Starting from the top... Jessica is doing really well in third grade. She really likes her teacher and her papers coming home have been consistently in the 90-100 range. I'm really pleased by this - and have now decided to consider second grade just an aberration. I think the combination of it not being a great fit, personality wise, between her and the teacher, plus the fact that she took a little longer than most to stop reversing and transposing numbers was what led to her difficulties there. She seems happier socially as well, which always makes things easier. She's such a big girl - she's so much help sometimes. The past two days, I was running the day care room at the synagogue with my mother, and when Jess was in there, it was like having another adult in there to help with the kids... She still fights with her brother pretty consistently - but even that seems to be getting better at times...
Sam is doing great at school. Just freaking awesome. The first week was utter hell, but after that, things gradually started to improve. He's so much better about going in the mornings now, getting out of the van on his own. He's entering an easy stage, I think. He's just a calm, relaxed, easy kind of boy. Although, with the exception of the massive separation anxiety, he's always been a breeze.
Julianna Ruth is STILL not walking. Just not doing it. She can balance fine, standing up by herself, but at this point, I think it's a mental thing, she's so used cruising along stuff that she won't walk independently. But she's so much fun, all singing and charm. She's getting so big in so many ways - but still so little.
Showing posts with label Jessie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jessie. Show all posts
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Checking in
All is delightful in my little world. Miss Jessie and Sam danced off to Hebrew School happily enough. There's a famous quote by some rabbi that Marc quotes all the time, something about if you want a child to love Torah, give them candy. Which is a good theory - and I'm happy to report that it works wonderfully well. The Education Director dispenses Israeli bubble gum - and you'd think it was solid gold from the way my children react. Sam literally didn't hesitate, he got dressed and bopped out the door, throwing a kiss back at me.
School is going so much better for him - he's MUCH better in the mornings, getting out of the van on his own. He never seems delighted to go, but he doesn't panic anymore either. I've even gone into his classroom and been able to leave without him crying. He still won't sit on the carpet with the class, strangely enough, but his teacher has a little chair set up right next to the carpet and he's happy as can be to sit there.
Jessie took Rebecca Rubin to Hebrew today. She actually brought her to school yesterday too - I'm REALLY glad that we bought the doll for her. She wanted it so desperately a couple of years ago, but they're SO expensive. We made her earn money, farming her out to grandparents and other family members to polish furniture or rake leaves, so that she'd pay for at least part of it. It was partly that it was so expensive, but I'd like think even if we were independently wealthy, we still would have do it this way. I wanted to make sure that she'd really appreciate her, and it definitely worked - she loves that doll. But I was shocked the other day when I went into her classroom for lunch, because almost all of the little girls had brought in their American Girl dolls and many of them had more than one. One kid had SIX. And there were several girls that had four of them. These dolls literally cost close to one hundred dollars. That's so much money - on a doll. Granted, Jessica does truly cherish the doll, and she's well made and pretty - but still. I can't imagine a parent actually spending that much money on dolls. Six American Girl dolls, plus all the clothing, furniture, books, hair care accessories (because if you're paying in excess of six hundred dollars on just the dolls, why not get all the other crap that goes along with it?). We're talking easily a month's rent on just toys for one child. Baffling... but also - really glad that my daughter has at least one doll so she can play with the other kids - and also glad that we were smart enough about it to make her really value the thing.
Speaking of valuing dolls - Julianna also adores Rebecca. To be fair, she also adores the six other baby dolls that she has managed to steal from her older sister. Jessie, at this point, can really only claim to have our beloved Poopado (her baby doll that she loved to death) and Rebecca as "her" dolls. Because Julianna has taken over the rest of them, and screams unmercifully if Jess has the audacity to try and play with one.
School is going so much better for him - he's MUCH better in the mornings, getting out of the van on his own. He never seems delighted to go, but he doesn't panic anymore either. I've even gone into his classroom and been able to leave without him crying. He still won't sit on the carpet with the class, strangely enough, but his teacher has a little chair set up right next to the carpet and he's happy as can be to sit there.
Jessie took Rebecca Rubin to Hebrew today. She actually brought her to school yesterday too - I'm REALLY glad that we bought the doll for her. She wanted it so desperately a couple of years ago, but they're SO expensive. We made her earn money, farming her out to grandparents and other family members to polish furniture or rake leaves, so that she'd pay for at least part of it. It was partly that it was so expensive, but I'd like think even if we were independently wealthy, we still would have do it this way. I wanted to make sure that she'd really appreciate her, and it definitely worked - she loves that doll. But I was shocked the other day when I went into her classroom for lunch, because almost all of the little girls had brought in their American Girl dolls and many of them had more than one. One kid had SIX. And there were several girls that had four of them. These dolls literally cost close to one hundred dollars. That's so much money - on a doll. Granted, Jessica does truly cherish the doll, and she's well made and pretty - but still. I can't imagine a parent actually spending that much money on dolls. Six American Girl dolls, plus all the clothing, furniture, books, hair care accessories (because if you're paying in excess of six hundred dollars on just the dolls, why not get all the other crap that goes along with it?). We're talking easily a month's rent on just toys for one child. Baffling... but also - really glad that my daughter has at least one doll so she can play with the other kids - and also glad that we were smart enough about it to make her really value the thing.
Speaking of valuing dolls - Julianna also adores Rebecca. To be fair, she also adores the six other baby dolls that she has managed to steal from her older sister. Jessie, at this point, can really only claim to have our beloved Poopado (her baby doll that she loved to death) and Rebecca as "her" dolls. Because Julianna has taken over the rest of them, and screams unmercifully if Jess has the audacity to try and play with one.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Holy moly, Sam is actually social
We went to my mother's house last night. For no real reason, I wanted to show off the new van, and thought I'd nag Mandi into cutting my hair (because I was ready to take the scissors to it myself, and I knew she'd hate that) and Samilicious Boy was ... just freaking awesome.
Sam has been somewhat challenging for me at times, because he's always been so incredibly introverted. He just flat out didn't like people. He didn't like talking to them, didn't like associating with them. He liked to be at home, with me, or with Marc, and that was it. We'd go to someone's house and eventually (usually after an hour or so), he'd relax a little and start playing, but more often than not, he'd refuse to talk to adults.
But last night - it was like he was a different kid. No, it was like he was the kid he is at home when it's just us. Very talkative and sweet and funny. It was such a lovely feeling, it was like he was finally breaking out of his shell and everyone else got to see this great, awesome little boy. I was so happy.
School is going so much better. I had a long talk with the principal, and we've changed a couple of things. Number one - I don't drop off anymore. Or rather, I still totally drop off, but the principal comes and gets him out of the car and Jessie walks him into school. The principal is out there every morning anyway, and we time it so we get there just before the bell rings so she's available to help get him away from the car. And major, major kudos to Miss Jessica - because she holds his hand and walks him to his class each morning. I LOVE this. It really, really makes me so happy to see her being so responsible and caring, and to see how much he loves and trusts her. We also instituted a "token" system - where he gets a token for going in without crying, a token for sitting with the group and listening, etc.
It's odd, because other than the drop off, he's perfect. He's well behaved, his teacher told me the other day that he was just such a sweet, sweet boy. He's interacting and participating and playing with the other kids - he just freaking hates leaving me.
Sam has been somewhat challenging for me at times, because he's always been so incredibly introverted. He just flat out didn't like people. He didn't like talking to them, didn't like associating with them. He liked to be at home, with me, or with Marc, and that was it. We'd go to someone's house and eventually (usually after an hour or so), he'd relax a little and start playing, but more often than not, he'd refuse to talk to adults.
But last night - it was like he was a different kid. No, it was like he was the kid he is at home when it's just us. Very talkative and sweet and funny. It was such a lovely feeling, it was like he was finally breaking out of his shell and everyone else got to see this great, awesome little boy. I was so happy.
School is going so much better. I had a long talk with the principal, and we've changed a couple of things. Number one - I don't drop off anymore. Or rather, I still totally drop off, but the principal comes and gets him out of the car and Jessie walks him into school. The principal is out there every morning anyway, and we time it so we get there just before the bell rings so she's available to help get him away from the car. And major, major kudos to Miss Jessica - because she holds his hand and walks him to his class each morning. I LOVE this. It really, really makes me so happy to see her being so responsible and caring, and to see how much he loves and trusts her. We also instituted a "token" system - where he gets a token for going in without crying, a token for sitting with the group and listening, etc.
It's odd, because other than the drop off, he's perfect. He's well behaved, his teacher told me the other day that he was just such a sweet, sweet boy. He's interacting and participating and playing with the other kids - he just freaking hates leaving me.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Settling in to the school year
This will come as no surprise to most of you, but I really, really don't like mornings. And now that Sam is going to school, I have a special dislike of them. Because he's going to school, and he's SO GOOD about it. After years of Jessie being angry that she's got to go, Sam's sadness in the mornings is so much harder to take. I know that it's just that Sam is what's now, and Jessie is mostly (with the notable exception of this morning) so much better now, it seems like his is worse. But Sam cries pretty much every morning, sadly, with resignation, and goes in every day, and Julie screams and sobs when I get out of the car to bring him in. Marc drops us off, and I haul Sam's poor butt into school and throw a kiss Jessie's way as she charges off to the third grade area.
I'm the first to admit that I'm a wussy mom in a lot of respects - notably, I don't like leaving my kids crying. For the most part - if they really don't want to go somewhere, I don't make them. If they've been invited for a playdate and start crying at the drop-off, I'll take them home with me or stick around and hang out with the mom. If I've lined up a sitter, and they start crying hard at the prospect of being left behind, if it's possible, I'll take them with me. I don't leave them crying. Now suddenly, I do that every morning with Sam. I make Julie scream every morning. And I hate it with every fiber of my being.
The upside is that Jessie is pretty happy most mornings to go, and Sam always says he had a wonderful day. Jessica is obviously thriving, she loves third grade, and Sam is always coming home happy and content. I know that this is what's best - Sam is learning and growing so much, and Jessie really, really seems to be doing great this year. So I know that's it's good that they go - but mornings continue to be the worst part of my day.
In other news - we're officially on the hunt for a van. We're actually looking at conversion vans instead of a minivan, because they're cheaper. And in some cases, nicer. One ad claims that if we buy his van, it'll be just like driving in our living room. Our volvo has performed admirably for the last several years, but it's over fifteen years old, and it's tired. We've outgrown it - the older three won't sit in the way back anymore, and we need to replace the tires, the power steering hose and probably the pump. So we're car searching. Actually, Marc's car searching, as this is somewhat outside of my comfort zone. I don't know cars at all, and don't really care what we end up with, as long as it'll drive well and be pretty.
Busy, busy weekend here, Annie and Glenny were down, which was delightful, and Jordyn, Sarah and Joshua (Virginia's kids) were here all day on Sunday. Am putting the house back together slowly... plus Mike Wilder gave me a lawnmower, so that's on my list to do to (the backyard, I already did the front). I'm finding that I really enjoy mowing the lawn - it's the one chore that I do where the results LAST for a while. Vacuuming used to be fun, because you could enjoy the results, but with three kids, I could vacuum three times a day and still have a rug covered with blocks and cracker crumbs. Laundry used to be fun - but now I'm never actually caught up, I've always got a load or two to wash, a load or two to fold and oceans to put away. But mowing the lawn - that lasts for at least a week or two :-)
Thursday, September 8, 2011
I do have other children....
I know Sam's been monopolizing my blogging world lately - and I'm happy to report that today was the best day so far. No tears at all until we got into the classroom, and even then he was just a little misty, and his teacher immediately sat down and started engaging him in conversation. He was so brave... he said "Goodbye Mama" just like a big boy. Granted, he was talking in that sad, sad little voice, and it broke my heart just a little that he was being so grown up and big about it...
In other news - Jessie is loving third grade. Really. She didn't like second grade, and I'm very happy that this year, she seems to have really clicked with her teacher and feels a lot more secure at school. She's been bopping off happily enough to school and doing homework with a minimum of nagging.
Just to go back to Sam for a minute :-), we've also really succeeded in adapting their sleep schedule. Sam has always been such a solid sleeper, a good 11-12 hours every night, and now that he's getting up earlier, he goes to bed easily and early - which means that Jessie is going to bed easier as well. She's even getting to stay up later than he does, which delights her.
Julianna isn't walking yet - and I'm beginning to wonder if she'll just crawl her way into kindergarten. She's missing the kids during the day, but overall, seems to be adjusting to being the only one at home very well. She's teething again - and the poor kid is just miserable with it. Runny nose and much sadness - but in between times, she's still so delightful and happy. She's just a happy kid. Very into board books and blocks and baby dolls (I don't intentionally limit her to B toys, it just works out that way).
In other news - Jessie is loving third grade. Really. She didn't like second grade, and I'm very happy that this year, she seems to have really clicked with her teacher and feels a lot more secure at school. She's been bopping off happily enough to school and doing homework with a minimum of nagging.
Just to go back to Sam for a minute :-), we've also really succeeded in adapting their sleep schedule. Sam has always been such a solid sleeper, a good 11-12 hours every night, and now that he's getting up earlier, he goes to bed easily and early - which means that Jessie is going to bed easier as well. She's even getting to stay up later than he does, which delights her.
Julianna isn't walking yet - and I'm beginning to wonder if she'll just crawl her way into kindergarten. She's missing the kids during the day, but overall, seems to be adjusting to being the only one at home very well. She's teething again - and the poor kid is just miserable with it. Runny nose and much sadness - but in between times, she's still so delightful and happy. She's just a happy kid. Very into board books and blocks and baby dolls (I don't intentionally limit her to B toys, it just works out that way).
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Jessie's first day
Here's hoping that third grade kicks second grade's butt! Last year wasn't a lot of fun for my girl, and I'm very encouraged that she came home yesterday saying that she LOVED her new teacher.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
I hate back to school
There. I've said it. I really hate this time of year. I like having my kids around all the time, and while I'm fully convinced that it's the best for them to attend school, in my heart of hearts, sending them off to be with other people all day seems as wrong now as it did when they were infants. They're mine. I want them with me.
Maybe it'd help if either one of them was in the least bit enthusiastic about it - but they aren't. Jessie has been a wreck, rocketing back and forth between excitement over getting "organized" (she must get that from Marc, her odd delight in putting things in order) and sobbing because she's dead certain that she's got the meanest teacher in the world and she doesn't like a single soul that's in her class. Sam is resigned to going, I think. But he's been a little extra clingy, and all I can think is that this time next week, he's going to be a little pool of Sammy Misery, all tears and heartbreak because I have to send him away ALL DAY LONG.
I hate shopping for school supplies, I hate glue sticks and pencil sharpeners and trying to figure out what's going to "cool" for Jessica this year. I hate the agonies over wearing sneaker for gym (Jessie hates sneakers and only ever wears them when she's got gym class, and always sobs over it), trying to pick out clothes every morning (and I know we should pick them out the night before, but anyone who says that'll work doesn't have an indecisive, moody eight year old, who will blithely agree with the outfit the night before and then decide she hates it and can't possibly wear it the next morning). I hate packing lunch, I hate fighting over homework. I hate making them go in the morning.
All of this is just based on sending Jessica Mary to school. I can't begin to tell you how much I'm dreading sending Samilicious Boy out the door. The hardest part for me is constantly pretending that going to school is the best thing since sliced bread, and they'll LOVE it - third grade is the BEST and kindergarten? Holy moly, kindergarten is more fun that anything! When the truth is that I don't want to send them at all. Intellectually, I know that it's the right thing to send them to school. Temperment wise - Jessica and I would not do well homeschooling, we're too much alike, and I think if I didn't kill her, she'd kill me. If there was any doubt in my mind, kicking her butt to get the book reports done this summer convinced me. And Sam needs a little nudge to go out into the world. He's very shy and antisocial, and I'm hoping that kindergarten encourages him to be a little more social. Or at least, not so out and out terrified of strangers. It's not terrified, he's not afraid of people, he just honestly doesn't like people in general. In specific, he's fine, he loves us, he's got friends, neighbors, relatives, etc. But in general, he doesn't like people.
Ahh - general grumpiness all over the place today. Jess has been sarcastic and disrespectful a lot lately, and I explained to her today that I wasn't going to spend the next ten years being treated like crap, and from now on, every single time she was wretched to me, she'd be sent to her room and I'd make her write "I will not speak to my mother disrespectfully again." over and over and over. It's either that, or I'm just going to start beating her with a stick. I know she's stressed about tomorrow. But with her stress and Julianna's teething misery, it's not a good day to be bitchy to me. That's all I'm saying.
Maybe it'd help if either one of them was in the least bit enthusiastic about it - but they aren't. Jessie has been a wreck, rocketing back and forth between excitement over getting "organized" (she must get that from Marc, her odd delight in putting things in order) and sobbing because she's dead certain that she's got the meanest teacher in the world and she doesn't like a single soul that's in her class. Sam is resigned to going, I think. But he's been a little extra clingy, and all I can think is that this time next week, he's going to be a little pool of Sammy Misery, all tears and heartbreak because I have to send him away ALL DAY LONG.
I hate shopping for school supplies, I hate glue sticks and pencil sharpeners and trying to figure out what's going to "cool" for Jessica this year. I hate the agonies over wearing sneaker for gym (Jessie hates sneakers and only ever wears them when she's got gym class, and always sobs over it), trying to pick out clothes every morning (and I know we should pick them out the night before, but anyone who says that'll work doesn't have an indecisive, moody eight year old, who will blithely agree with the outfit the night before and then decide she hates it and can't possibly wear it the next morning). I hate packing lunch, I hate fighting over homework. I hate making them go in the morning.
All of this is just based on sending Jessica Mary to school. I can't begin to tell you how much I'm dreading sending Samilicious Boy out the door. The hardest part for me is constantly pretending that going to school is the best thing since sliced bread, and they'll LOVE it - third grade is the BEST and kindergarten? Holy moly, kindergarten is more fun that anything! When the truth is that I don't want to send them at all. Intellectually, I know that it's the right thing to send them to school. Temperment wise - Jessica and I would not do well homeschooling, we're too much alike, and I think if I didn't kill her, she'd kill me. If there was any doubt in my mind, kicking her butt to get the book reports done this summer convinced me. And Sam needs a little nudge to go out into the world. He's very shy and antisocial, and I'm hoping that kindergarten encourages him to be a little more social. Or at least, not so out and out terrified of strangers. It's not terrified, he's not afraid of people, he just honestly doesn't like people in general. In specific, he's fine, he loves us, he's got friends, neighbors, relatives, etc. But in general, he doesn't like people.
Ahh - general grumpiness all over the place today. Jess has been sarcastic and disrespectful a lot lately, and I explained to her today that I wasn't going to spend the next ten years being treated like crap, and from now on, every single time she was wretched to me, she'd be sent to her room and I'd make her write "I will not speak to my mother disrespectfully again." over and over and over. It's either that, or I'm just going to start beating her with a stick. I know she's stressed about tomorrow. But with her stress and Julianna's teething misery, it's not a good day to be bitchy to me. That's all I'm saying.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Bags, D&D, and can you have PMS when you're eight?
Julianna loves bags. Lunch bags, backpacks, little girl pocketbooks, you name it, she'll crawl (yes, she's still not walking) around the house with it. We did the back to school shopping and she's delighted by Jessie's new multicolored lunchbox and thrilled to death with Sam's Super Mario Brothers lunchbox. She's fascinated with Marc's big backpack full of D&D books and one of her favorite activities has always been going thru my pocketbook.
I think I'm finally getting better. Day 2 with no Sudafed.
Sam is playing little kid Dungeons and Dragons in the dining room with Marc and the two teenagers from across the street. I'm 99% sure he has no idea what he's doing, but he's holy moly into it. As is Marc. I got a whole geek fest going on in there. I made them cupcakes.
Jessica Mary - my precious little angel love bug, she's been in the throes of something unpleasant as of late. Call it hormones, call it crappy attitude, call it end of summer misery and back to school anxiety. I've called it just about everything, and have yet to come up with a solution yet. She's weepy and miserable and mean and nasty - interspersed with these glimmers of angelic behavior. I'm struggling with how to best deal with her behavior - and reminding myself that it doesn't actually get any easier as your kids grow up, it just gets more complicated.
I think I'm finally getting better. Day 2 with no Sudafed.
Sam is playing little kid Dungeons and Dragons in the dining room with Marc and the two teenagers from across the street. I'm 99% sure he has no idea what he's doing, but he's holy moly into it. As is Marc. I got a whole geek fest going on in there. I made them cupcakes.
Jessica Mary - my precious little angel love bug, she's been in the throes of something unpleasant as of late. Call it hormones, call it crappy attitude, call it end of summer misery and back to school anxiety. I've called it just about everything, and have yet to come up with a solution yet. She's weepy and miserable and mean and nasty - interspersed with these glimmers of angelic behavior. I'm struggling with how to best deal with her behavior - and reminding myself that it doesn't actually get any easier as your kids grow up, it just gets more complicated.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Different kids, different ages, different needs
I planned on having all of my kids. Which doesn't make me better than anyone else, merely points out that the spacing between them was deliberate and well thought out. And overall, I like the three to four year gap. It gives each child a chance to really be a baby, by the time the next one was born, the kid was really transitioned well into the preschooler stage. And the nice thing now is that I have three very different kids, at very different stages in their lives.
Jessica Mary is eight years old, and about to enter third grade. She's in the throes of peer pressure, but not in the scary peer mode. She worries about not having any friends, not about her friends pressuring her to drink or have sex. Not that it's not hard, I don't mean to minimize it, but it's not scary for me yet. She's pulling away from me a little, watching television shows that are a little more grown up, and wouldn't be caught dead watching Dora. I think, for Jessica, because she and I are so very close, and so linked in so many ways, the separation between us is challenging. For both of us, really, but more so for her, I think. She's still my little girl in so many ways, still snuggles up to me at night and first thing in the morning, but more and more, I'm seeing her as her own person, dealing with feelings and emotions and challenges that I don't always understand. Which is, in and of itself, scary.
Sam is five, and about to start kindergarten. This is such a huge milestone for any kid, but for Sam, having never attended preschool, I feel like it's so much more of one. After September 4 - a big part of his day, five days a week, is going to be spent with people other than me. And I'll be honest, I'm sad and wistful and so lonely already. It's not any easier to send your second child off than it is to send your first, as much as I wished that it would be. I can't imagine him at school - can't imagine it. And honestly, can't write too much more about it without getting teary eyed - he's been at my side for the past five years, and I can't fathom what I'll do without him during the day.
Oh yeah - that's what I'll do - Miss Julianna Ruth. Julie is very much a Mommy's girl, not that she doesn't adore her daddy (because she definitely does - she's much closer to him than either of the other two were at this age), but she's very, very attached. She's my girl - and she's a part of everything that I do. Even when I'm not with her, I'm always aware that she's missing me. She's on the brink of so much - almost walking, starting to talk. Her world, in so many ways, revolves around me. It's not that I love her more than the other two, and it's not that she loves me more than they do. But right now, she seems to be at the forefront a lot, just by virtue of her age.
Jessie's world is so much more than just me. And Sam's is on the brink of opening up into this huge whole world. And Julie - so much of Julie is still me. I'm thinking today about having three very different children, and how each one requires such a different level of parenting. Jessie is so much more complicated - she doesn't need to be held and coaxed into eating but what she needs is so much more patience and understanding and reassurance. Julie's needs are so much simpler - but easier to meet, she just needs me. I don't even have to do all that much, just my presence is enough for her. Sam is still caught right in the middle - he's not old enough to be a big kid, but so much bigger than a little kid.
Jessica Mary is eight years old, and about to enter third grade. She's in the throes of peer pressure, but not in the scary peer mode. She worries about not having any friends, not about her friends pressuring her to drink or have sex. Not that it's not hard, I don't mean to minimize it, but it's not scary for me yet. She's pulling away from me a little, watching television shows that are a little more grown up, and wouldn't be caught dead watching Dora. I think, for Jessica, because she and I are so very close, and so linked in so many ways, the separation between us is challenging. For both of us, really, but more so for her, I think. She's still my little girl in so many ways, still snuggles up to me at night and first thing in the morning, but more and more, I'm seeing her as her own person, dealing with feelings and emotions and challenges that I don't always understand. Which is, in and of itself, scary.
Sam is five, and about to start kindergarten. This is such a huge milestone for any kid, but for Sam, having never attended preschool, I feel like it's so much more of one. After September 4 - a big part of his day, five days a week, is going to be spent with people other than me. And I'll be honest, I'm sad and wistful and so lonely already. It's not any easier to send your second child off than it is to send your first, as much as I wished that it would be. I can't imagine him at school - can't imagine it. And honestly, can't write too much more about it without getting teary eyed - he's been at my side for the past five years, and I can't fathom what I'll do without him during the day.
Oh yeah - that's what I'll do - Miss Julianna Ruth. Julie is very much a Mommy's girl, not that she doesn't adore her daddy (because she definitely does - she's much closer to him than either of the other two were at this age), but she's very, very attached. She's my girl - and she's a part of everything that I do. Even when I'm not with her, I'm always aware that she's missing me. She's on the brink of so much - almost walking, starting to talk. Her world, in so many ways, revolves around me. It's not that I love her more than the other two, and it's not that she loves me more than they do. But right now, she seems to be at the forefront a lot, just by virtue of her age.
Jessie's world is so much more than just me. And Sam's is on the brink of opening up into this huge whole world. And Julie - so much of Julie is still me. I'm thinking today about having three very different children, and how each one requires such a different level of parenting. Jessie is so much more complicated - she doesn't need to be held and coaxed into eating but what she needs is so much more patience and understanding and reassurance. Julie's needs are so much simpler - but easier to meet, she just needs me. I don't even have to do all that much, just my presence is enough for her. Sam is still caught right in the middle - he's not old enough to be a big kid, but so much bigger than a little kid.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Stress and frustration
I realize in the overall scheme of things, my problems aren't really that big. Everyone's healthy and happy, and we will have a roof over our heads, regardless. It's just the constant tension over WHICH roof. Do we stay here, do we move? This is what I've been doing, constantly searching for an apartment and agonizing over whether or not I need to look at all. Our landlord, while lovely, is horribly indecisive and I don't deal well with other people's indecision. I actually don't deal well with my own indecision, but someone else's is even harder. Especially because he is such a nice guy, and I don't want to hurt his feelings by screaming "I'm leaving, I don't CARE what you want to do!"
In other news - Julianna is still not walking. Going on fifteen and a half months, and still not a step taken. She is, however, getting actual callouses on the palms of her hands from constantly crawling because she's all over the place. She communicating more and more, and just recently starting standing independently on purpose (as opposed to accidentally). She's such an agreeable baby, very little irritates her, unless you try to take what she's playing with, in which case, she'll bellow furiously.
Samilicious Boy has spent most of the summer in his underwear. He'd be naked, but Julianna is a little too curious, so I insist on at least underwear. It's been a good summer for Sam, and I'm optimistic that he'll adapt well to kindergarten. Truth be told, I'm terrified of him starting school, but pretending that I'm not. He'll be fine, right?
Jessica Mary is fighting summer reading HARD. And finally, I got so irritated with her (bitterly ironic that I have to fight to get my daughter to READ), that I told her that she was cooking dinner all this week, and one of her book reports could be on recipes. She's made chocolate chip cookies, homemade spaghetti sauce and fresh chicken nuggets. I sit at the table (with a book) and am available for questions and gentle reminders (because left to her own devices, she gets distracted easily).
Canobie Lake today - very excited :-)
In other news - Julianna is still not walking. Going on fifteen and a half months, and still not a step taken. She is, however, getting actual callouses on the palms of her hands from constantly crawling because she's all over the place. She communicating more and more, and just recently starting standing independently on purpose (as opposed to accidentally). She's such an agreeable baby, very little irritates her, unless you try to take what she's playing with, in which case, she'll bellow furiously.
Samilicious Boy has spent most of the summer in his underwear. He'd be naked, but Julianna is a little too curious, so I insist on at least underwear. It's been a good summer for Sam, and I'm optimistic that he'll adapt well to kindergarten. Truth be told, I'm terrified of him starting school, but pretending that I'm not. He'll be fine, right?
Jessica Mary is fighting summer reading HARD. And finally, I got so irritated with her (bitterly ironic that I have to fight to get my daughter to READ), that I told her that she was cooking dinner all this week, and one of her book reports could be on recipes. She's made chocolate chip cookies, homemade spaghetti sauce and fresh chicken nuggets. I sit at the table (with a book) and am available for questions and gentle reminders (because left to her own devices, she gets distracted easily).
Canobie Lake today - very excited :-)
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Dead fish, room rearranging and why can't I sleep???
When my cousin went back to NH a few months ago, she left behind a fish. Which, honestly, didn't please me, as I'm a crappy pet owner and had no desire to take on a fish I didn't want in the first place. I'm pretty good with pets when I don't have kids, and perhaps if the kids were older... but at this point, on the list of priorities, a pet falls down pretty low, so in the interest of what's best for the pet, I don't have one.
But there we were, with the fish. So Jessica named it, Aphrodite, and set up a little place for her. She was far more enthusiastic than I was, and launched herself into pet ownership with all of her characteristic passion. She put small sea themed figurines in the bowl for her, and sang to the fish. Fed her almost all the time, and was, in general, a stellar sort of pet owner. Excepting that one time she dropped it.
Yesterday, she came screaming into the bedroom, because Aphrodite was floating sideways. According to Dr. Google, he had swim bladder. A bad swim bladder? I don't know - Dr. Google was perhaps not as informative as I would have hoped. But after a long day of watching and praying and crying, the fish finally went belly up, literally. It was her first experience with pet death, and it was so sad.
I also rearranged my Sammy Boy's bedroom, to give him more space to play. Yesterday was my mad cleaning day, I got all of the girls' clothes hung up and the beds all made. Not that Julianna is sleeping in her bed, but at some point, she might, and when it happens, the bed is ready. \
I'm exhausted, apologies for the boring blog post. I haven't slept in two nights, and it's entirely not my kids' fault. They've all been sleeping fine, but for some random reason, I've been up until well after midnight and then popping awake off and on all night after that. I miss sleep. A lot.
But there we were, with the fish. So Jessica named it, Aphrodite, and set up a little place for her. She was far more enthusiastic than I was, and launched herself into pet ownership with all of her characteristic passion. She put small sea themed figurines in the bowl for her, and sang to the fish. Fed her almost all the time, and was, in general, a stellar sort of pet owner. Excepting that one time she dropped it.
Yesterday, she came screaming into the bedroom, because Aphrodite was floating sideways. According to Dr. Google, he had swim bladder. A bad swim bladder? I don't know - Dr. Google was perhaps not as informative as I would have hoped. But after a long day of watching and praying and crying, the fish finally went belly up, literally. It was her first experience with pet death, and it was so sad.
I also rearranged my Sammy Boy's bedroom, to give him more space to play. Yesterday was my mad cleaning day, I got all of the girls' clothes hung up and the beds all made. Not that Julianna is sleeping in her bed, but at some point, she might, and when it happens, the bed is ready. \
I'm exhausted, apologies for the boring blog post. I haven't slept in two nights, and it's entirely not my kids' fault. They've all been sleeping fine, but for some random reason, I've been up until well after midnight and then popping awake off and on all night after that. I miss sleep. A lot.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
I love Marc a little bit extra tonight
It's after nine o'clock, and I'm still waiting for Marc and Jessica to come home. I know that Marc desperately needs to work out, and he still went up to Maine to rescue our little girl. Four hours up, four hours back, that's a LONG day driving, and he had things he really needed to do today. But he still offered to go, and went without complaining, and I've been thinking today about what that must have been like for Jessie. To turn around and suddenly see her Daddy and know that she could come home. How happy she must have been, how safe and loved she must feel right now...
We all come into parenting with our own baggage, and God knows I have my fair share. I didn't have a dad who rescued me. Maybe he wanted to - I don't think he had bad intentions - but parenting is hard, and he bailed out. And I had a mom who loved me, loved me, loved me, but also had to share her with three younger siblings. I don't ever remember being scared or feeling lost and alone and being saved by my parents. I'm sure that my mother must have saved me a bunch of times - because she was really a great parent, but I grew up early and fast because I had to. I would have sucked it up, I would have not wanted to make my mom feel bad because I was scared. I felt an enormous responsibility to take some of the weight off of her shoulders. I wouldn't have added to it by giving into homesickness and crying. My mother didn't have a husband that would drop everything and drive eight hours to save me.
Lucky, lucky Jessica. And lucky, lucky me - because my husband is amazing.
We all come into parenting with our own baggage, and God knows I have my fair share. I didn't have a dad who rescued me. Maybe he wanted to - I don't think he had bad intentions - but parenting is hard, and he bailed out. And I had a mom who loved me, loved me, loved me, but also had to share her with three younger siblings. I don't ever remember being scared or feeling lost and alone and being saved by my parents. I'm sure that my mother must have saved me a bunch of times - because she was really a great parent, but I grew up early and fast because I had to. I would have sucked it up, I would have not wanted to make my mom feel bad because I was scared. I felt an enormous responsibility to take some of the weight off of her shoulders. I wouldn't have added to it by giving into homesickness and crying. My mother didn't have a husband that would drop everything and drive eight hours to save me.
Lucky, lucky Jessica. And lucky, lucky me - because my husband is amazing.
Okay - I'm a crappy parent
I try, I mean, I really, really do. I parent really thoughtfully, I put a lot of effort into it. I read the books, I carefully consider my decisions re: the kids. Everything from where they sleep, to where they go to school, how many after school activities to enroll them in. I have my own little philosophies, I believe in nursing on demand, extended nursing into toddlerhood. I co-sleep, don't mind artificial flavors or colors, I think buying organic is not necessary. I believe in child led weaning, child led potty training and I really think that kids should not start formal preschool until possibly the year before kindergarten, and even then, only if the kid wants to go. I believe in free range parenting, I don't think it's my job to entertain or amuse my kids, I try and give them as much freedom as I can. I want them to grow up to be bold and confident and able to take care of themselves.
So, in that spirit, I shipped my daughter off for a week camping. She's with my extended family - but not with me or Marc. Last year, she went for part of the week, and loved it, so I thought this week would be fine. But it wasn't. I dropped her off Saturday morning, and she called Sunday night crying to come home. Same thing Monday night and when she called this morning crying, I just gave up and sent Marc up to get her. She was trying so hard, and I could hear it in her voice. She wanted so badly to be brave and stick it out, but really, she just missed me and wanted to be home.
Intellectually, I can totally see the point of making her stick it out. She's eight years old, she's with my family, she's safe and loved and should be able to relax and have fun without me up there. But bottom line, there are only so many sobbing voicemails I can hear, with her beautiful little voice trembling out "Mommy, I just miss you so much." I'm (well, Marc, really) rushing up to rescue her - and perhaps reinforcing a bunch of bad messages. Teaching her that her parents will always rush to save her, that she's only safe and secure when she's with us... but then again, the facts are that I can only handle a couple of days of knowing that she's up there, sad and missing me. She's only eight - she's got the rest of her life to learn self reliance and how to tough it out. For right now, we'll rescue her - because I miss her more than anything, and can't wait to snuggle her once she gets home :-)
So, in that spirit, I shipped my daughter off for a week camping. She's with my extended family - but not with me or Marc. Last year, she went for part of the week, and loved it, so I thought this week would be fine. But it wasn't. I dropped her off Saturday morning, and she called Sunday night crying to come home. Same thing Monday night and when she called this morning crying, I just gave up and sent Marc up to get her. She was trying so hard, and I could hear it in her voice. She wanted so badly to be brave and stick it out, but really, she just missed me and wanted to be home.
Intellectually, I can totally see the point of making her stick it out. She's eight years old, she's with my family, she's safe and loved and should be able to relax and have fun without me up there. But bottom line, there are only so many sobbing voicemails I can hear, with her beautiful little voice trembling out "Mommy, I just miss you so much." I'm (well, Marc, really) rushing up to rescue her - and perhaps reinforcing a bunch of bad messages. Teaching her that her parents will always rush to save her, that she's only safe and secure when she's with us... but then again, the facts are that I can only handle a couple of days of knowing that she's up there, sad and missing me. She's only eight - she's got the rest of her life to learn self reliance and how to tough it out. For right now, we'll rescue her - because I miss her more than anything, and can't wait to snuggle her once she gets home :-)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
My big, big, big girl....
Shipping my baby girl off to Hermit Island this week, up in Maine. Not my baby baby, but my eight year old little love bug, my Miss Miz (short for Misery - Jessie was a toddler who really embraced her emotions). I'm sending her off with my sister, who I love and trust more than anything. And of course, my mother, my cousins, my aunts, etc... so she'll be surrounded by family and I know she'll be fine, but I'm still a little panic stricken at the thought of her being gone for an entire week.
But I am looking forward to being done getting ready for Hermit Island. Jess is a girl who loves being prepared, and has a deep and personal attachment to many, many of her stuffed animals, and between packing her clothes, and repacking them after Julianna has unpacked (seriously - this kid adores throwing clothes all over the place) and figuring out which stuffed animal(s) should make the trip... it's been a two day effort and she's not leaving until Saturday. I've now got all of her stuff in one laundry basket and am seriously considering just sending that up instead of a bunch of little bags.
House is still in shambles. You'd think I'd either get used to it, or get a lot better at either forcing the kids to pick up or start picking up more often. But nope, I just sort of do all three, I try to make them clean up after themselves, try to pick it all up myself at least twice a day, and mostly, I try to just resign myself to it. Both Jess and Sam love to create these worlds with figurines, and while Jessie has mostly outgrown it, Sam is really just starting to get into it. Sam is even willing to put up with Julianna crawling in the middle of it, mostly. Jessie used to hate having Baby Sam in her stuff, and she'd happily set up in her room, but Sam doesn't like playing alone in his room, so I'm constantly dealing with army men and trucks and monster figures scattered willy-nilly thru my house.
Julianna is still struggling with nighttime issues. She's okay once she's down, for the most part, but getting her to sleep at night is now taking hours. Literally. I'm distinctly ill amused - and vetoed Marc attending a committee meeting tonight at the synagogue so he can handle her. I need a break :-) Bedtime used to be his special time with Sam when Sam was about this age, so perhaps that's just the transition that we need to make. As it turns out, I've started reading Harry Potter to Sam at night before bed, so this might work out perfectly :-)
But I am looking forward to being done getting ready for Hermit Island. Jess is a girl who loves being prepared, and has a deep and personal attachment to many, many of her stuffed animals, and between packing her clothes, and repacking them after Julianna has unpacked (seriously - this kid adores throwing clothes all over the place) and figuring out which stuffed animal(s) should make the trip... it's been a two day effort and she's not leaving until Saturday. I've now got all of her stuff in one laundry basket and am seriously considering just sending that up instead of a bunch of little bags.
House is still in shambles. You'd think I'd either get used to it, or get a lot better at either forcing the kids to pick up or start picking up more often. But nope, I just sort of do all three, I try to make them clean up after themselves, try to pick it all up myself at least twice a day, and mostly, I try to just resign myself to it. Both Jess and Sam love to create these worlds with figurines, and while Jessie has mostly outgrown it, Sam is really just starting to get into it. Sam is even willing to put up with Julianna crawling in the middle of it, mostly. Jessie used to hate having Baby Sam in her stuff, and she'd happily set up in her room, but Sam doesn't like playing alone in his room, so I'm constantly dealing with army men and trucks and monster figures scattered willy-nilly thru my house.
Julianna is still struggling with nighttime issues. She's okay once she's down, for the most part, but getting her to sleep at night is now taking hours. Literally. I'm distinctly ill amused - and vetoed Marc attending a committee meeting tonight at the synagogue so he can handle her. I need a break :-) Bedtime used to be his special time with Sam when Sam was about this age, so perhaps that's just the transition that we need to make. As it turns out, I've started reading Harry Potter to Sam at night before bed, so this might work out perfectly :-)
Friday, January 4, 2008
how incredibly exciting
I'm so excited - got me my very own blog. I've been doing daily e-mails for everyone, but now I can just refer people to the blog :-). Spent all day making shabbat dinner, and am now no longer in the mood to celebrate. I did manage to talk Jess into cleaning up her bedroom by convincing her that it had to be pretty for shabbat, and I have lulled Sam into quiet by putting on Little Einsteins. He's into the music. He's also discovered how much fun it is to play with the controls for the stove, hence, the quarantine in the living room.
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