My Samuel Earl

Today, my son is six.  And amazing.  He's smart and funny and the sweetest little boy I've ever known.  Every child is different, and I have a unique and separate relationship with each one.    Sam was, in many ways, really in all measurable ones, my most challenging baby.  His birth was the hardest, and he had colic and reflux.  Sam taught (and continues to teach) me so much about motherhood, about men and little boys.  About myself.  Sam is simply one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

With Sam, I learned patience.  I learned devotion.  I learned to dig deeper, to try harder.  His needs were so huge, his need for ME was so huge.  He simply was miserable when I wasn't holding/nursing him.  He came out of the womb with separation anxiety, and he's still pretty sure that the only good place to be is at my side.  I never planned on nursing a toddler, I was firmly convinced that once a child could walk and talk, nursing wasn't just unnecessary, it was sort of gross.  But it wasn't.  It was what he needed, and standing up to everyone in the world who thought I was insane made me a stronger mother, a stronger person.   Meeting his needs, and seeing the person he's becoming - it's one of the most rewarding aspects of my life.

At six years old, Sam is still the kindest, sweetest little boy.  He's so tender and full of love - but still so incredibly MALE, all guns and battles and superheros and army guys.   He's got huge eyes with a hue that defies description.  Sometimes it's brown, sometimes grey, sometimes green-ish.  He's brave and bold, willing to climb higher and go farther than I thought he would.  He's a wonderful friend, creative and fun, and loves spending time with his besties, Jordyn and Harrison.  He's a fantastic older brother to Julianna - who worships "my boy."  When he's not making Jessie crazy, he can be so sweet and solicitous of her, and he's still a card carrying member of Team Bum Bum with his big sister Sarah.  He looks up his biggest sister Lilli so much.  He's his father's best friend and my best boy.

Happy birthday Samilicious Boy.  I absolutely adore you, and thank God for the blessing of being your mother.