Okay - I admit it, it's a lot of posting lately. But I'm out of books, and with sick kids, I haven't made it down to the library to get something to read, so I have to write instead :-)
Sam is still throwing up, and Julie threw up for the first time this morning. For those keeping track, Jessie threw up once, Sunday morning. Sam threw up all night Saturday night, and then again on Monday morning. Went to school on Tuesday and threw up twice yesterday afternoon. The weird thing is that they're fine at all other times. Holding food down, playing, sleeping well, no fever. Just occasionally vomiting. BUT I feel reassured after talking to my mother and realizing that she had the same thing and it lasted for about a week. So we should be almost done.
In other news... we've got a big meeting coming up on Friday to discuss Samilicious Boy and his academic future. Am just slightly terrified - because they (his teacher - who I LOVE) want him to repeat kindergarten and I don't want him too. I'm really struggling with this - I feel enormously guilty about the fact that he wasn't emotionally/academically prepared for kindergarten, because really, who else can you blame? I thought I was doing the right thing (which is kind of what bothers me the most - I really thought about it before I decided to pull him out of preschool, and I consciously didn't push academics on him - I wanted him to be able to play and create and imagine stuff, figured he'd have all the time in the world to learn how to read and add). And as guilty as I feel, I still think that I might have done the right thing.
Sam just is. He came into the world with separation anxiety, and I did my best. Maybe I should have forced him earlier to learn how to be on his own, but I did my best. Bottom line (can you tell I'm talking myself into this?), I did the best I could with the information I had at the time. Not forcing him to be without me, not sending him to preschool when it made him anxious and stressed, giving him time to play and experiment and do what he wanted seemed like the best decision. And he's going to be fine - he's a bright, brilliant, sensitive and kind kid, who's going to learn and grow on his terms. He might not be a rock star, academically, in kindergarten. I think ALL the other kids have had at least an extra year of preschool that he missed- plus we had the whole housing fiasco in November/December. If you factor in the first couple of months, he was just trying to figure out that he was safe without me there, and then he was slammed with is entire home life/stability getting ripped up - he didn't really start learning until January. But he's made huge advancements in the past few months, and I think he'll thrive in first grade.
And I also have to come to grips with my own tendency to elevate everything to a high drama situation (Jessie comes by it naturally). He's not handicapped, there's no cognitive problem there - he's just a little boy who loves his mama and loves his sister and would always rather be home. This is not really a crisis, not really. It's just that any sort of indication that there's a problem with my kids (i.e. a problem with my parenting) throws me for a loop. I feel responsible and want to fix it and make it better. But really, what I need to do is chill and realize that kids grow on their own timetable - and that's okay.
So I'm chilling. Relaxing, and being grateful for healthy (although vomiting periodically) HAPPY kids.
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