Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Am I a total prude?

When did camisoles become appropriate daytime wear for nine year olds?  Is it just me?  Jessie has several adorable tops someone had given her as hand-me-downs- but they're camisoles.  Built in little girl bra, spaghetti straps with adjustable bra strap in the back.  And she wants desperately to wear them like shirts, and everyone else seems to think they're perfectly acceptable as a top.

I didn't (and don't) put my girls in bikinis.   I never really thought about it as a policy, I just always seems to gravitate to one piece suits.  And I'm frustrated that I even have to think about this - why should I be debating whether or not an outfit is too provocative?  I don't debate this for my son, it just never comes up.  But with Jessie, she's so tall and thin...  skirts fit her in the waist long after they've become too short for her to wear.

Is it just me?  I don't know if I'm just being weirdly prudish about girls clothes, I never really got into the whole "modesty" argument.  There's a movement in orthodox Judaism that involves covering everything from the collarbone or elbows to the knees, I think.  I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with showing your body.  So why does this make me so uncomfortable?

Some things are no brainers, I'm not going to buy either of the girls clothes with words on the butt, they're not getting padded bikinis or shirts with trashy sayings across the front.  But that just struck me as common sense - I think they look trashy.  But these camisoles/tank tops are throwing me for a loop - because they're pretty and everyone else wears them, but when I see them, I think that she's wearing underwear.

There is just no reason why they need to wear what I always considered lingerie for summer shirt.  Tank tops are fine, bra strap backs are not.   Am I too strict?  Too controlling?   I wish I knew.  But for now, I'm just grateful that we were able to find a top she loved to wear instead this morning...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's amazing how much less clothing kids wear now than even 10 years ago. It's better for parents to be prudish than too permissive. I used to be a teacher (now I stay at home), and I remember having to remind even 1st grade girls to put on sweatshirts so that their "tank top" (kiddie lingerie essentially) straps didn't show.

Melissa said...

I just wish I didn't have to have the conversation with her yet. You know? She's not thinking about sex, she's not thinking about how she appears - and I want to preserve that innocence as long as I can.