There was a thing (that's not all that relevant, exactly, to this post) this morning and I found out about it. It was a bad thing, or probably is, at the very least, something happened to make some people I care about pretty unhappy. (I apologize for the cryptic nature of this, but it's not really my story, so I'm reluctant to share details). My point was that I found out about it first thing this morning (one of those instances where facebook is NOT your friend), and it just set my whole day off. I'm grumpy and unpleasant - and I need to STOP. Because the facts are that I'm fine. My marriage is whole and healthy, my kids are happy, whole and healthy. I need to figure out how to feel badly for other people and not have it impact every thing about my day. Because not only am I stressed out and unhappy, but that old adage that when Mommy's not happy, nobody is happy could have been written about me and my kids. Jessie is cranky and fussy, Sam has thrown himself into two different screaming fits and Julianna... well,she's sunshiny delightful, thank goodness. There's little that seems to throw that one off.
Sam has been a bit challenging as of late. I'm slightly scared that it's just that he's almost five, and maybe there's a thing where my kids go off the rails a little bit between five and eight. When Jess turned eight, she had a real personality change, and suddenly got so much calmer and relaxed and happy. Sam has always been my stable, simple easy child, and it occurred to me that maybe it's just that I'm not great with kids at this age. Infants, babies, toddlers, even preschoolers are fun for me, and I have to say, eight so far is really fun, but five, six, and seven? Those were not my favorite years. I'm a believer in self fulfilling prophecies, so I'm trying not to think too much about it, but really hoping that it's just an off day or two.
Probably it is. Because it's more that both Jess and Sam have been spiraling into temper tantrums lately - I'm going to blame summer. We decided to keep Jess home from summer camp this year, and while it's wonderful - it does also mean that there's not a lot of structure to our days anymore. Julianna's nap schedule is all off too. I need to figure out a routine and start sticking to it - or I'm going to lose my mind.