That's pretty much my life these days. The morning sickness is kicking my butt on every level possible. It's just steady and constant and overwhelming. No cravings, just lots of food aversions. I'm huge, seriously ginormous. I didn't show at all until three or four months along with Jess, and I'm ashamed to admit that I don't remember when I started showing with Sam - but with this one - my goodness, I found out I was pregnant and instantly, my stomach pouched out and now I've got a seriously noticable baby bump. I love it :-).
The kids are both doing well - relatively speaking. Both of them ended up really sick on Thursday and Friday, fevers, coughing, sneezing and general yuckiness. By Friday night, they were both up and running around and seem to be fine now. Sam's still a bit fussy, and hoarse, and Jessie's got a serious tendency to emotional frailty, to put it nicely. Almost everything is cause for tears and hysteria and I'm almost at the end of my rope. To balance it, she's been so sweet and solicitious about the morning sickness - coming to curl up next to me after I throw up, and making sure that I've got water and even brought me ice cream after my latest bout of vomiting.
Sam - I've got to wean him. It's SO painful now, and he's so attached to it, I feel awful. He told me that the milk tasted "different" and I asked if it was yucky, and he smiled, patted my breast, and told me that it still tasted perfect to him. I've stopped nursing him at night (last night was the first night, and he cried, screamed, wailed, hit me, it was so hard - but after about ten minutes, he crawled up into my arms and let me rock him to sleep), and he and I have really limited the amount of nursing he does during the days. Yesterday, he didn't nurse once all day long - and he hasn't nursed since about seven this morning and it's almost three o'clock now.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Allergies, morning sickness, etc
We're all here, still good. I'm at seven weeks tomorrow - YAY - and very happy about it. I ended up nixing any sort of prescription medication for the nausea, as I realized that it would also increase milk production. Which is the exact opposite of what I want to do, and I tried the OTC remedy of Unisom, which resulted in a very sleepy mommy - and nobody wins there. I'm just going to suffer thru it - I had killer morning sickness with both Jess and Sam and survived that, this one won't kill me either. It just feels like it. Jessie is home sick - the ragweed is kicking her butt, and poor Sammy is coughing and sneezing as well. Between the nausea and my own allergies - we're kind of a wreck here - but wanted to check in and just let everyone know that all is well in my world - sick, but overall well :-)
Will post again when we're all feeling better - send us some healthy thoughts, okay?
Will post again when we're all feeling better - send us some healthy thoughts, okay?
Monday, September 7, 2009
This baby is kicking my butt
Maybe I'm just too old for this. I feel wretched. A lot. Spent most of Saturday in the labor and delivery wing, hooked up to IV's, rehydrating. Isn't that a lovely word? Rehydrating. I love it. I've got a couple of kick ass bruises, but haven't thrown up since Saturday morning. I had reached the point where I couldn't keep anything down, and had a killer migraine on top of it. I'm managing to stay on top of the vomiting by seriously EATING ALL DAY LONG. Every hour or so, I have a little something. Sometimes I stretch it out, go an hour and a half, but for the most part, I start to feel the nausea and have to force myself to eat before I start heaving.
I'm huge, and tired, and sick and still oh my goodness, thrilled to death about this pregnancy. It's so STRONG. I feel so profoundly aware of my role as a pregnant mom. I was thinking that it would be hum drum, just average. After all, I've done this already several times, I've got two active children I'm running around afterwards. I planned on sailing thru this pregnancy, no problem, popping the baby into a sling (or the Ultimate Baby Carrier - which Becky gave me over the weekend) and going about my life. But this pregnancy has totally taken me by surprise. It is, hands down, the one thing I think about the most simply because when I don't - when I start to feel sick and ignore it, I end up getting so disasterously sick that I have to go to the hospital to recover.
In other news... had a delightful weekend, after the hospital stay (and even that was great - I got a nice long nap, got to listen to a mom across the hall deliver a baby), we went down to a cookout at Marc's cousin's house. She lives down by the ocean and it was beautiful down there. Then we went to the Grist Mill in Sudbury yesterday - saw the Martha Mary chapel and the little red school house where the Mary had a little lamb poem was inspired. Then we went to my cousin's house for another cookout. Today, we did absolutely nothing - the whole morning, I sat on the chair or the couch (I switched it up for variety every couple of hours) and watched Disney movies with Jess all day. Sara and Arlen came over with my little Jordyn, and brought ice cream. After they left, the kids were a little stir crazy, so I brought them to the park, stopped at the grocery store, came home, threw them into the bath, and fed them. Marc's reading stories, and I'm just waiting until he's done to put Jessica Mary to bed :-)
I'm huge, and tired, and sick and still oh my goodness, thrilled to death about this pregnancy. It's so STRONG. I feel so profoundly aware of my role as a pregnant mom. I was thinking that it would be hum drum, just average. After all, I've done this already several times, I've got two active children I'm running around afterwards. I planned on sailing thru this pregnancy, no problem, popping the baby into a sling (or the Ultimate Baby Carrier - which Becky gave me over the weekend) and going about my life. But this pregnancy has totally taken me by surprise. It is, hands down, the one thing I think about the most simply because when I don't - when I start to feel sick and ignore it, I end up getting so disasterously sick that I have to go to the hospital to recover.
In other news... had a delightful weekend, after the hospital stay (and even that was great - I got a nice long nap, got to listen to a mom across the hall deliver a baby), we went down to a cookout at Marc's cousin's house. She lives down by the ocean and it was beautiful down there. Then we went to the Grist Mill in Sudbury yesterday - saw the Martha Mary chapel and the little red school house where the Mary had a little lamb poem was inspired. Then we went to my cousin's house for another cookout. Today, we did absolutely nothing - the whole morning, I sat on the chair or the couch (I switched it up for variety every couple of hours) and watched Disney movies with Jess all day. Sara and Arlen came over with my little Jordyn, and brought ice cream. After they left, the kids were a little stir crazy, so I brought them to the park, stopped at the grocery store, came home, threw them into the bath, and fed them. Marc's reading stories, and I'm just waiting until he's done to put Jessica Mary to bed :-)
Friday, September 4, 2009
Holy Moly, am I pregnant!
How do you know you're pregnant? Other than the obvious... it's when the smell emanating from a bag of fruit loops is enough to send you running to the bathroom to vomit. When the stench of a bowl of cheerios makes you cry because you feel just that sick. All the time. I'm ginormous huge already - fear I'm either carrying twins or my body is just so used to being fat and pregnant, it just jumps to looking four months along once I got the positive test result. Which is totally unfair - Sam's three years old - you'd think it would have forgotten by now...
I'm so reassured about this pregnancy right now - I'm absolutely 100% having a baby - but my goodness, I'd like to not want to hurl for just a little bit. I've noticed a definite trend - I feel pretty gross when I wake up, have absolutely no appetite, around eleven, I force myself to eat something, feel better until about two thirty or so, and then get progressively worse until I actually vomit (as opposed to just the dry heaves that I have ALL DAY LONG). I puked last night around nine-ish, with Sam at my side - he was fascinated and felt much better afterwards. I haven't actually vomited yet this morning, but have come dangerously close several times.
I'm so reassured about this pregnancy right now - I'm absolutely 100% having a baby - but my goodness, I'd like to not want to hurl for just a little bit. I've noticed a definite trend - I feel pretty gross when I wake up, have absolutely no appetite, around eleven, I force myself to eat something, feel better until about two thirty or so, and then get progressively worse until I actually vomit (as opposed to just the dry heaves that I have ALL DAY LONG). I puked last night around nine-ish, with Sam at my side - he was fascinated and felt much better afterwards. I haven't actually vomited yet this morning, but have come dangerously close several times.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Life changes
I had an Education Committee meeting last night at the synagogue. I joined last year, figuring that I'd like to be a part of planning and executing the kid's Hebrew education, and this was the third meeting so far that I've attended. The director wasn't able to attend, and had asked me to run it in her place. I'm also really involved in running the day care room this year for the High Holidays, coordinating activities and making sure that it's got coverage for the entire time.
The meeting went well - I still feel like I'm very much the junior member on the committee, not only because I just converted a couple of months ago, but also because I'm physically younger than most of the group. Then all of the group, honestly, and it felt weird last night to be the one in charge.
I was driving home last night, feeling the waves of nausea (because holy moly, morning sickness is definitely a factor for me now) and kept thinking about high school and the girl I used to be. Okay, yeah, I was listening to music that we used to sing along to back then and I got all misty and teary eyed, thinking about the way my life used to be and how much everything is different now. The priorities I had, the things I wanted to do, the ways in which I've changed. I love where I am - and if you'd asked me twenty years ago if this was where I wanted to be, I'd have been blissfully happy to know that at 35, I'd be happily married, staying at home with my three year old, my daughter attending first grade and newly pregnant with my third baby.
It still feels like such a far road that I've traveled to get here. It's not just the Jewish thing - although that's a really big change. I've always been really interested in spirituality, and it's not that I'm more so now, but now I've got a framework for it all that makes so much sense to me. I've lost friends over the years, I've stopped caring about things that used to really matter to me. I've got new friends now, new routines and new customs. Even though so much of my life has changed, my hometown is different, I don't see my family anywhere near as often, I still feel like that same sixteen year old girl, who loved Christmas and sunshine and fairies, who wanted so much to have a stable, happy home and a beautiful family - and I've acheived so many of my dreams.
I don't even know exactly what I'm trying to say here, I'm sorry this is so disjointed and confusing. I'm hormonal, obviously, and sick and happy, so unbelievably happy about this baby and about my little girl, doing so well at school, and little Sammy, who's turning into such a big, smart boy and about what Marc and I have built together - we've really struggled, financially, and in many ways, still are. But I couldn't be here without him - and I'm so unbelievably happy to be here, right now, in this place - in my tiny little apartment with a thousand kids toys everywhere, crowded with books and stuffed animals and so much love and joy and utter satisfaction.
I love being pregnant. It's not just the obvious things - it's the tears, the sense of walking around so aware of how blessed and fortunate you are.
The meeting went well - I still feel like I'm very much the junior member on the committee, not only because I just converted a couple of months ago, but also because I'm physically younger than most of the group. Then all of the group, honestly, and it felt weird last night to be the one in charge.
I was driving home last night, feeling the waves of nausea (because holy moly, morning sickness is definitely a factor for me now) and kept thinking about high school and the girl I used to be. Okay, yeah, I was listening to music that we used to sing along to back then and I got all misty and teary eyed, thinking about the way my life used to be and how much everything is different now. The priorities I had, the things I wanted to do, the ways in which I've changed. I love where I am - and if you'd asked me twenty years ago if this was where I wanted to be, I'd have been blissfully happy to know that at 35, I'd be happily married, staying at home with my three year old, my daughter attending first grade and newly pregnant with my third baby.
It still feels like such a far road that I've traveled to get here. It's not just the Jewish thing - although that's a really big change. I've always been really interested in spirituality, and it's not that I'm more so now, but now I've got a framework for it all that makes so much sense to me. I've lost friends over the years, I've stopped caring about things that used to really matter to me. I've got new friends now, new routines and new customs. Even though so much of my life has changed, my hometown is different, I don't see my family anywhere near as often, I still feel like that same sixteen year old girl, who loved Christmas and sunshine and fairies, who wanted so much to have a stable, happy home and a beautiful family - and I've acheived so many of my dreams.
I don't even know exactly what I'm trying to say here, I'm sorry this is so disjointed and confusing. I'm hormonal, obviously, and sick and happy, so unbelievably happy about this baby and about my little girl, doing so well at school, and little Sammy, who's turning into such a big, smart boy and about what Marc and I have built together - we've really struggled, financially, and in many ways, still are. But I couldn't be here without him - and I'm so unbelievably happy to be here, right now, in this place - in my tiny little apartment with a thousand kids toys everywhere, crowded with books and stuffed animals and so much love and joy and utter satisfaction.
I love being pregnant. It's not just the obvious things - it's the tears, the sense of walking around so aware of how blessed and fortunate you are.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Morning sickness, brave boy, and my first grade girl
Starting with oldest to youngest :-)
Jessica Mary started her first day of school today. We switched her elementary school to Flagg Street, which is a REALLY good school. Big open fields to play in, great principal, involved PTO, and fabulous test scores. Plus my stepdaughters are attending there as well, so there's the added bonus of having her sisters there with her. Isn't she gorgeous? She's so big!
Sam climbed the super big snake thing yesterday at the playground. Jessie just did it for the first time over the weekend, and once Sam saw that Jessie could do it, he couldn't wait to try it. It was terrifying for me - he was eight or nine feet up in the air, and I was so freaked out - but doing my best not to show him that. He loved it - he kept yelling "I'm GREAT at dis!" "Dis is AWESOME!" and my favorite "I can see the WHOLE WORLD up here!" God help me as he gets bigger, I'm not prepared for this adventurous child.
And the morning sickness... it doesn't feel too intense yet. I'm used to throwing up all the time, with both Jess and Sam, it was pretty steady. This one is just a lot of low level nausea. I wake up with it in the middle of the night, dry heave a lot, but very little actual puking. I get worried, and then remind myself that I'm not yet six weeks pregnant, and it's still really early. It's a strong pregnancy, I know that, intellectually, but still worry. Another seven weeks to go until the blessed second trimester!Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Michelle Duggar is having her 19th child
I'm not entirely sure why I'm so fascinated by this - but I am. Nineteen children... can you imagine? And yet, I'm insanely jealous. I think this is probably my last pregnancy, I'm thirty five, Marc's already 40. The kids are getting bigger, we're running out of room as it is. Lilli will be 11 years older than this baby. There's lots of logical reasons why this is probably the end of child bearing for me. But I hear about her having another baby and am all happy for her.
I don't like the first trimester. I LOVE being pregnant, love feeling the baby move, love the morning sickness (I do, actually). I love the cravings, the smiles from people on the street, I love going to the OB and hearing the heartbeat, I love having to watch what I eat, make sure I get enough water. I walk around feeling magical. Like I'm literally made with fairy dust, somehow so much more than I was before. I love the shape of my body, I love the way maternity clothes look. I love everything about it - except for the first trimester. If I could just fast forward to where I knew that it was a viable pregnancy, if I could just skip ahead to Week 14, I'd be very pleased with myself right now.
Last day of summer vacation - and I'm missing my girl already. I'm making chocolate chip cookies and popping popcorn for Jessie's snack, and packing her backpack and getting clothes ready.
I don't like the first trimester. I LOVE being pregnant, love feeling the baby move, love the morning sickness (I do, actually). I love the cravings, the smiles from people on the street, I love going to the OB and hearing the heartbeat, I love having to watch what I eat, make sure I get enough water. I walk around feeling magical. Like I'm literally made with fairy dust, somehow so much more than I was before. I love the shape of my body, I love the way maternity clothes look. I love everything about it - except for the first trimester. If I could just fast forward to where I knew that it was a viable pregnancy, if I could just skip ahead to Week 14, I'd be very pleased with myself right now.
Last day of summer vacation - and I'm missing my girl already. I'm making chocolate chip cookies and popping popcorn for Jessie's snack, and packing her backpack and getting clothes ready.
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